Me (25F) and my boyfriend (35M) have been together for a little over two years. We moved into a shared flat nine months into the relationship. My old flat had some issues, I was only waiting out for the lease to end and had planned on moving anyway, but since I basically already moved into his flat the day we started dating we decided to move together.
Our relationship progressed very quickly he made a 'pre-proposal' (I have been vocal about wanting to choose my own ring) about a year into dating. We picked out a ring together in January, however he hasn't officially proposed and when I ask about it he says he doesn't know what to plan / he wants to do it soon but is unsure. Which has given me the feeling of him not wanting to bother enough to plan something nice.
I have lost physical attraction to him, it started gradually but as early as 6 months into the relationship.
We had a lot of issues with chore-splitting etc, I felt like doing a lot more and kept trying to implement systems to split it equally, which he would follow for a couple weeks but then stop again. We have hired a cleaner since a couple months which has mostly solved the problem shortterm but this topic still worries me. In terms of mental load / equality when having children. We originally wanted kids soon-ish, however I had some recent health struggles which turned some aspects of my life upside down, so right now I feel like wanting to wait with kids a lot longer than we originally discussed. He is understanding but I still feel like I'm keeping him from the life he wants/ could have with someone else, especially since this topic has been very important to him when we got together.
He is a nice guy, he does love me and wants me to be happy. I have been feeling down and a lack of energy recently, he supports me and sometimes puts dishes & trash from me away when I'm overwhelmed with it.
I want to be happy in this relationship but I'm not. I talked to him about some of my worries (I didnt say that I'm considering breaking up, I talked more about how I'm unhappy with multiple aspects in my life right now) he says he wants to support me and is ok with me figuring stuff out (career, kids etc) but I very much feel like for him its more a 'lets give her 1-2yrs to do whatever but end up in the same path again'-situation/feeling.
To add to the complexity of the situation, I am quite scared to be alone. I am no contact with my father/family, my mother died when I was young. He has been my main support system, so I am worried about this. I do have friends, however I have always felt like the 'mom-friend', most of them are figuring stuff out for themselves so not ideal for me to add worries for them.
Before this relationship I had been pretty avoidant, I was scared of commitment and was a serial 2-3month fling after another type of person. I didn't feel a lot of struggle starting this relationship but I couldn't say there were none.
I don't know if I want to work on this relationship to bring it back to a place in which I want to stay or if its time to leave. My mind keeps going between not wanting to work on it is just my fear of commitment but also staying is just my fear of being alone.
I would appreciate advice on whether working on can be worth it it or if I should leave.
TL;DR: Relationship with a nice guy, living together. Lost attraction / unsure about relationship. Asking for advice on working on it or ending relationship.