I’ve been dating this guy for almost 6 months. It’s been going really well for the most part, but recently I feel like we’re maybe “too comfortable” with each other already and I’m missing the level of energy he was putting in while courting me.
In the beginning, he would plan and book fun dates for us. We had sex at least once, usually twice, every day we saw each other. There was a lot more PDA, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. He would always ask me after a date when I was free and when he would see me again.
About two months ago he started a new job. This job is very physical and stressful and he’s often very tired. During the work week, he usually is in bed by 7:30pm and too tired to do anything. That’s fine – I take a lot of classes and volunteer at a few places so I just do that during the week. l usually spend Friday/Saturday/Sunday to his place and it feels like it’s always the same. We watch movies and get takeout on Friday, have sex Saturday morning, go for a walk, go to the cinema, make dinner at home, in bed by 10pm, sex on Sunday morning, go for a walk, read beside each other, etc. A couple times a month we will go to a bar with his friends or my friends and stay out late.
If I ask him to do anything with me, he will show up no question, which I really appreciate. But I miss the excitement of the early days and I REALLY miss the sex and affection. We used to lay in bed for an hour after sex cuddling and talking and now we don’t. We used to make out whenever we could and now we don’t.
We recently had our first fight, and afterwards he was SO affectionate and all over me and surprised me with an experience I’d been talking about for weeks as an apology. It was so sweet of him but I don’t want to be fighting in order to hit that level of intimacy!
I understand he’s really tired. I’d be happy if he could plan one date a month for us. I also want to touch/make out/be more physically affectionate with each other. It doesn’t always have to lead to sex if he’s too tired (I’m ready to go basically 24/7) but I miss the closeness.
I don’t expect him to do everything. I go out of my way to make him feel appreciated and make his life a bit easier. I am doing most of the initiating and planning and there is not much excitement, and I feel like things should still be somewhat new and exciting at this stage.
Does this sound reasonable? How would I go about talking to him about this without sounding like I’m unhappy or I’m criticizing him as a boyfriend?