I’ve recently started seeing a former colleague who’s much younger than me. He’s 27 and I’m 51. He’s always been attracted to me (and I kind of knew it), but since I separated from my husband recently and he heard I might be interested, he went for it.
We’ve met twice so far, and both times he stayed over. It was really amazing, tender, easy, and incredibly sexy. He’s quite shy (he never even dared to talk to me before), and I’ve never seen him in a relationship, though he must have been because he really knows what he’s doing in bed. He’s also genuinely sweet and objectively gorgeous, to be honest.
And now I don’t know what’s going on with me, but I’m so physically attracted to him, it’s almost an obsession. I just want to be close to him all the time. It’s getting to the point where I’m confusing that with being in love, but honestly that’s what it feels like right now. I do realize it’s probably my brain mixing up “novelty + tenderness + sex = love,” but in the meantime I’m completely caught up in it.
I know this is just something casual given the age difference and where we both are in life. It’s clearly a kind of “sex friends” situation, but I have no idea how to manage it. I got so hooked on his messages that I deleted Instagram and decided to take a 48-hour break, otherwise I’d just obsess over it (also the kind of low effort non stop messaging is kind of frustrating – especially given the intensity when we meet irl so I didn’t tell him I was cutting off but I’ll explain later)
When I get like this, I can be so intense, like the kind of person who’d ask if we’re exclusive after four days or tell him I’ve already mentioned him to my family. Poor guy must think, what kind of crazy woman have I gotten myself into?
We’re seeing each other again next Wednesday, and I’m abroad until then, but it’s hard not to reach out too much.
So how do I deal with this? What can I realistically expect? And can you please help me get a grip?