It’s a long paragraph.
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and we are planning to get married, but the country's economy is terrible and rents are very high. My boyfriend's mother has four apartments in the same building. She lives in one of them. His two married brothers live in the other two. She says we can live in the other apartment when we get married. My family is against this and doesn't want me to live in the same building as my future mother-in-law. I told my bf I didn't want that either and that I wanted us to work together to rent an apartment. My boyfriend also doesn't want to live in the same apartment building because he's tired of his family meddling in everything. I suggested the same thing that all my other friends' families do. His mother can basically send us the rent for the apartment that is actually his son’s right, and we can use that money to rent a place elsewhere. That would financially help us a lot but his mother disagree. She refuses to help financially. She only lets her married sons to live together with her. I told my bf that then his mom does not actually want to help financially she only wants to keep her sons beside her but thats no problem we’ll rent us a little apartment and we dont actually need as big as his mother’s. I was very kind and sweet when telling him that but he resented my words saying I should not be afraid of his family and living in the same building makes more sense. I am clearly not afraid of his family this is insane but I won’t think about this word. What worries me is he clearly knows and sees everyday how his mother does not respect his private life, his religious belief, his political thoughts, what he eats and drinks even. But still he says his mom has every right to offer help only if we live with her. I told him that wouldn’t change anything in her life financially, she could help us with the same amount rent and we could choose our own home freely. Then he just said it’s too early for a conversation like this and I shouldn’t be judging his mother’s actions. Like what did I do to break his heart on that?? He didn’t sleep all night over this conversation. I don’t know why can’t he see something so clear. He listens to her mother bad talking behind her daughter-in-laws everyday over little things such as “we gave her an apartment but she doesn’t invite us to dinner, we paid for her house stuff but she doesn’t do that and this…” but he wants me to suffer from the same thing? He even asked me to conceal my religious beliefs and politicial thoughts and try to wear not too revealing when I visit his mother. I can endure this when I see this person only a few times in a year but imagine having a stalker around your home. She will be knowing where I go, what time I get back, who my friends are, what I wear, what I cook, how much I pay for the bills EVERY DAY. She has other son’s apartment key as well. I won’t be able to even go to a vacation feeling safe because someone can enter my home. We won’t be able to tell small white lies such as “we can’t attend this event because we’re sick or invited to somewhere else”. I will never ever let her interfere with my private life but my bf doesn’t see it that way. I don’t understand…