Firstly, sorry for my English, it's not my native language. Please explain this situation to me since i dont know what to make of it. My wife and I (42) met when I was 18. Since then we've grown together into the adults we are now. Obviously, I'm not 18 anymore but I generally try to do my best to take care of myself. Regularly to the barber, wear well fitting clothes, eat healthy, workout, moderately with alcohol. Nothing too fancy, just trying to look decent for my wife since I appreciate the same from her. When the years passes I noticed myself getting more hairy on the shoulders, back, stomach and chest. I decided to buy a body groomer to keep my body hair at a decent length. Awesome tool btw. No complaints or whatever from my wife.
Now a few months ago she all of a suddenly started lashing out against me about it. Out of the blue and at first I did not believe my ears. Calling me insecure, gay and it being strange and odd that I trimmed my body hair. She even went as far as calling it suspicious. I told her I've been doing this for years now and I'm just trying to put some effort in my appearance but she wouldn't hear it and stuck to her point of me being insecure and gay. I interpreted the situation as: 'I think she doesn't like me doing this' and stopped trimming my body hair. I felt really bad about this but thought maybe it was a trigger or something on her side.
Now a few weeks ago we went swimming and afterwards she bluntly stated that I looked unclean and doesn't like my appearance since I'm too hairy for her taste. She said she disliked my body hair and wanting a man that looks clean trimmed and not her man looking like this with a hairy body like I have.
I was absolutely baffled and reminded her of her own words. She said she once said that but changed her mind and insisted on me trimming my body hair again. She even stated that she doesn't want to have sex with me as long as I look this way. Needless to say, I'm very confused and feel really bad about this.
When I think about it and write this I remember her doing this about some other (in my eyes) non-issues where she out of the blue takes in a radical point of view and months later all of a sudden does a 180.
I'm a simple hardworking family man, I don't know nothing of these psychological warfare it sounds like she is trying to have for some reason. Obviously it's not something I discuss with my friends and I don't know what to make of this situation. To me it sounds like she is just trying to pick fights maybe because out of a certain boredom or something. We have everything on order, a house, car, job, healthy kids and no debt. Maybe this issue stands for something bigger? I don't know really.
Am I overlooking or misinterpreting something? I'm at a loss really.