Hey everyone,
I (28m) have been thinking/struggling a lot with communication, how it effects my relstionship and social confidence. I realized that I often struggle to be open or expressive in conversations , not because I'm overthinking, but because my mind just goes completely blank. There's nothing there. I want to say something, to share or respond, but in that moment I simply can't. It's like my thoughts just disappear when I need them.
This isn't just with new people or strangers. Even with people I've known for years (family, best friends), people I care about deeply, it happens. Conversations can still feel flat or disconnected, and I rarely talk about myself, even though there's a lot I could share. It's not about fear, it's just that my mind genuinely empties in those moments. And that makes me feel distant, like I'm not really part of what's happening around me.
A bit of context: my last relationship ended partly because of my communication issues. After that, I didn't date anyone for about two and a half years. This year, I started meeting and dating people again, and I've noticed the same pattern: conversations stall, I can't express myself fully, and it's usually because of my social skills rather than anything else.
Now, with the person I'm currently seeing, it's happening again. She's told me I can be boring in conversations. At the same time, she's said that I'm her dream partner and that she's never felt this way about anyone else, it's just my communication that's the problem. I can completely see why she points it out, I hate this side of myself too, and these last two and a half years I've mostly avoided dealing with it. Being with her has kind of woken me up to the fact that I need to face it.
I wish I could be more natural, more open, more present in conversations. I want to actually share things, connect with people, and not feel like I disappear when I'm around others. But I don't really know how to get there. I've been trying to change, but there's so much I want to fix about myself that I don't even know where to start.
I wish I could be more natural, open, and present. I want to share, connect, and not feel like I disappear around others. But I don't really know where to start. Has anyone else been through something similar and how did you improve?
Thanks for reading.
Tldr: I often go completely blank in conversations, even with people I've known for years. My current partner says I can be boring in conversations, and I hate this side of myself. I want to be more open, natural, and present, but I don't know where to start.