Women that never moved out and still live with their parents 30 and up. How do you create boundaries and independence?
October 25, 2025
Women that never moved out and still live with their parents 30 and up. How do you create boundaries and independence?
11 comments
Take advantage of the cheaper (hopefully) rent and go do fun stuff! travel, join a club, a sport, invest in your hobbies, you’ll make tons of friends as well. Time away from your family can give you space and less time for them to push your boundaries.
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Um I treat it as a roommate situation? Make my own food, clean my own clothes. Wash dishes etc. My parent doesn’t tell me what I can and can’t do. She doesn’t really care. We keep to ourselves
Well it’s a two way street, if they aren’t willing to respect your boundaries and independence then you shouldn’t live with them.
My parents do not care what I do or where or I go or when. I’ll communicate if I’m going to be out late or gone, but that’s about it. I don’t even tell them where I’m going or who with if I don’t want to.
The pros are definitely there for me – I travel 4-5 months out of the year, I’m saving 50% of my income for retirement, I only have to cook 2x a week (and I prefer cooking for a group than just me), and the quality of my groceries, appliances, amenities, and bathroom are significantly better than they would be otherwise.
But let me tell you if my parents weren’t chill, I’d be out of here in a heartbeat. I would live in a hovel if I felt disrespected or controlled
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I lived with my parents into my 30’s. It helped that we had the physical space and my parents respected my boundaries. I did my own laundry, I prepped my own meals (but had dinner with them most nights because we got along well). We had a good relationship then and now, so that was a big factor too.
Getting there (to 30). I’m sort of in a similar boat to your question. I bought my own home in my early 20s but i let my mom live with me so I get the whole creating boundaries thing. For a while she thought she ran things around the house like who to let in and let live here etc had to set her straight on that.
Our work schedules are diff right now so I have my evenings to myself which is nice in creating privacy and a feeling of independence. Even tho I own the home and am in charge i still feel a little off tbh. Needing to work through that ig.
My goal is to buy a bigger home to have more space/privacy. A two story with my bedroom and a loft area upstairs would be nice, like my own little apartment. Currently I have a small one story , I have a large(for the house) bedroom and my extra bedroom is my hobby room. Then well my mom is in the other bedroom furthest from me.
If you’re living with your parents save as much as you can and move out. And don’t move them in with you.
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It’s basically like roommates, grateful for my understanding mom. I’ve always had independence and boundaries.. mostly. It’s just the mental load of it I guess that weighs, like self-doubt and stuff .. also she’s a hoarder so
By taking on adult responsibilities in the home: paying a fair share of living expenses, doing a fair share of cleaning, maintenance, and repairs, and having interesting conversations during meals and group activities.
11 comments
Take advantage of the cheaper (hopefully) rent and go do fun stuff! travel, join a club, a sport, invest in your hobbies, you’ll make tons of friends as well. Time away from your family can give you space and less time for them to push your boundaries.
[removed]
Um I treat it as a roommate situation? Make my own food, clean my own clothes. Wash dishes etc. My parent doesn’t tell me what I can and can’t do. She doesn’t really care. We keep to ourselves
Well it’s a two way street, if they aren’t willing to respect your boundaries and independence then you shouldn’t live with them.
My parents do not care what I do or where or I go or when. I’ll communicate if I’m going to be out late or gone, but that’s about it. I don’t even tell them where I’m going or who with if I don’t want to.
The pros are definitely there for me – I travel 4-5 months out of the year, I’m saving 50% of my income for retirement, I only have to cook 2x a week (and I prefer cooking for a group than just me), and the quality of my groceries, appliances, amenities, and bathroom are significantly better than they would be otherwise.
But let me tell you if my parents weren’t chill, I’d be out of here in a heartbeat. I would live in a hovel if I felt disrespected or controlled
[removed]
I lived with my parents into my 30’s. It helped that we had the physical space and my parents respected my boundaries. I did my own laundry, I prepped my own meals (but had dinner with them most nights because we got along well). We had a good relationship then and now, so that was a big factor too.
Getting there (to 30). I’m sort of in a similar boat to your question. I bought my own home in my early 20s but i let my mom live with me so I get the whole creating boundaries thing. For a while she thought she ran things around the house like who to let in and let live here etc had to set her straight on that.
Our work schedules are diff right now so I have my evenings to myself which is nice in creating privacy and a feeling of independence. Even tho I own the home and am in charge i still feel a little off tbh. Needing to work through that ig.
My goal is to buy a bigger home to have more space/privacy. A two story with my bedroom and a loft area upstairs would be nice, like my own little apartment. Currently I have a small one story , I have a large(for the house) bedroom and my extra bedroom is my hobby room. Then well my mom is in the other bedroom furthest from me.
If you’re living with your parents save as much as you can and move out. And don’t move them in with you.
[removed]
It’s basically like roommates, grateful for my understanding mom. I’ve always had independence and boundaries.. mostly. It’s just the mental load of it I guess that weighs, like self-doubt and stuff .. also she’s a hoarder so
By taking on adult responsibilities in the home: paying a fair share of living expenses, doing a fair share of cleaning, maintenance, and repairs, and having interesting conversations during meals and group activities.
[removed]