Using fake name for the sake of privacy. So I (17nb) am kind of forced to be friends with Fred (17m) because I volunteer at a local scout group. He is in the same unit as me and while I haven’t been in the sessions for a couple years now they meet on the same night as the group I volunteer with. I’ve known him for about 7 years since I joined the group. In that time he has strangled me, kicked me, punched me and called me the F slur on numerous occasions. Fred is also autistic. The scout leaders know this so he has always been given a free pass to basically do what he wants and get away with it. I obviously understand that neurodivergent people can struggle a lot (I myself am also autistic) however he is high functioning for the most part and uses his autism like a get out of jail free card. He never gets anything more than a slap on the wrist and a talking to about what happened. This is why I hate him, because he refuses to grow as a person and uses autism as a weapon.
I have been told that I basically have to be his friend to keep the peace by the scout leaders. I usually try and distance as much as possible but I struggle with social skills and anxiety so I constantly feel like I’ve got to invite him places and be his friend outside of Scouts as well. I know I’m a terrible person for pretending to be someone’s friend, but I’m scared that if I tell him what I really think he’ll either start calling me slurs or he’ll do something. If I do say something there’s a high chance the other Scouts’s leaders will think I’m being horrible and hostile, I just want to be left alone. I feel I’m trapped in a friendship with him and I can’t escape.
Fast forward to today, I have a lot of friends in bands, I am a music student so I meet a lot of other musicians through that. One such friend is a metal drummer and his band is having a concert tonight at 7 (gmt). I have been inviting people and I saw Fred’s name on my phone, I invited him on instinct and I instantly regretted it. I have just signed up for a night of dealing with his nonsense when I was really looking forward to going. I know I messed up and I’m a terrible person, but how do I ask him not to come without giving him an excuse to be horrible.
Tldr I invited someone I hate but I am forced to be friends with to a gig and now I am regretting it. I need some advice on how to tell them I don’t want them there in a way that doesn’t give them an excuse to be horrible.