i wish i could just do social things without planning them ahead. i wish i could do them without having to know exactly EVERYTHING that we’ll be doing. i wish i didn’t have to rehearse my conversations with people. i wish i didn’t forget social norms in conversations. i wish they just came naturally to me. i wish the most minuscule things didn’t send me into a flight or flight response. i wish i could be spontaneous and just do things. i wish i could go with my friends to all these events and not even have to literally study them like a normal person.
i wish all of this was true so bad but no one else is similar in my life at all. i keep avoiding social events because of it and people think im weird since i reject everything.