Hi!
Half a year ago, I (26M) met my gf (25F) and we have built a very beautiful relationship in many aspects – something we both desire to keep for life. Our relationship is very affectionate, warm, and calming.
However, the friendship with my best lady friend makes my partner insecure to the point where my partner is considering to end our relationship. This is because my best lady friend once told me (before the relationship) that I'm visually her type and that she could see having been romantically interested in me if she were single (she is in a happy relationship). I crushed on her when I met her a few years ago (she was already in a relationship) but for me that went away entirely. Today I have that friendship with zero romantic or sexual entertainment/desires/thoughts/etc. In fact even if we were both single, I would not want to be in a relationship with her. I also asked her if she has feelings for me today to which she said no.
My partner considers this to be a messy friendship which I understand. She has difficulties trusting me that I wouldn't cheat on her with my friend. I can say for certain I wouldn't. But having in the past been cheated on by previous partners, I can understand that it's a strong concern for her.
Obviously my partner is the one I would decide to center my life around – not my friend. At the same time giving up a years old friendship for a relationship also feels wrong. Either way, it's currently likely that I will loose one of the two or that both can't function simultaneously.
I don't want to make a decision I'll regret. Giving up the friendship would feel like hurting someone innocent a lot. Giving up the relationship would feel like giving up something wonderful that would have a very central role in my life.
Have you guys ever been in a similar situation? What are your thoughts on this?
PS: My partner doesn't want to meet my friend so a conversation between us three is unlikely.