Hello, English is my second language, so I’m sorry if I don’t make much sense. I don’t want to talk to people I know about this so this is why I’m making this post and turning to Reddit.
My boyfriend and I have been having some problems lately, especially with the way he talks to me when he’s irritated or mad. Whenever I express how I feel about it, he either apologizes and promises not to do it again (which I kind of force him to promise and apologize), or says that it’s a normal human reaction and he can’t control it. But then, when he gets mad again, he talks to me the same way. (We’re in a long-distance relationship right now btw we were together physically before he went away for college)
For example, today we had a small argument. I was talking to him about something that I thought was obvious, but he asked what I meant. So I kept going on about the thing I was saying so he could understand the context. Then he got mad and said I always do that and that I can’t talk properly or give context. I understand why he might be irritated, but I just don’t like the way he talks to me when he’s upset.
Is this something worth breaking up over? How can I get him to talk to me more softly, even when he’s mad? I really just want someone who’s gentle and kind with me.
For context, I grew up in a household where everyone yells or talks aggressively and fights almost every day and he knows that. (Maybe that’s why I want gentleness so much.) I’m still living in the same environment until I move away for college.
Please don’t be biased or take my side just because I’m in a bad environment. I really want an honest answer.
Edited; He and I have been together for a while. We’ve known each other since we were around 14 or 15, and he’s been my best friend even before we started dating. We have a lot in common and we love each other very much. He’s generally a kind person and usually talks to me gently. The only problem we have is when he gets mad. He’s not the only one who makes mistakes I do too. Sometimes I say mean things during arguments because I’m angry at him, and I also tend to hold grudges from previous situations when he talked to me harshly or yelled at me. I’m sorry for not adding more context