Yes, I know, the age difference. It's one of the main reasons I am actually considering it. My friends hate me for being with him and we recently reconnected after about 6 months of not really talking because of it.
We live together. We love each other. We have a routine. It works. It's comfortable, safe, loving.
However, I feel like I have lost myself. My life changed a lot. I don't really see my friends even after reconnecting because it is still not the same between us. They want me to leave him.
Plus he had a comment or two regarding them, so I didn't feel putting in too much effort because I didn't feel like it because of it.
He has always treated me like a princess, treated me right, supported me in what I do. The problems began when he started having issues at work.
One thing throws him and his whole mood off for days sometimes, and it affects us both. He does not know how to let go of it. And it kept going and going, one thing after another, I have been doing nothing else but being supportive about it even when I became tired of it months ago.
We have similar values, different points of view of life, different opinions and we are used to completely different lifestyles. In the core we do want the same thing, but I am pretty sure in a completely different way.
Then I reached the point where I gave up on trying cause it changed nothing. He was still letting those things get to him, to both of us, he promised he'd quit when I didn't even ask and then he didn't. That was that for me. Case closed. I simply stopped trying.
It still affected me in the months to come and I have reached a point where I can't even remember when was the last time we laughed. Our general moods are mostly either neutral or negative. That's not good. At some point I was so frustrated I wasn't even able to sleep for days, always on the edge, always agitated. I even started being bothered by everything he does, coughs, looks at me, breathes. So I made a plan to leave.
I planned 2 weeks and I am out, moving in with a friend of mine. As soon as I arranged that with her, all of those bad feelings disappeared. And then I started crying, and I have been crying every day since for 5 days now, non-stop when he's around. I love him but I can't even say it because I know I put an expiration date on us. In reality nothing had really changed, everything we do is still work and watch tv. Quite literally.
I don't even want to do anything anymore. I don't feel like doing anything. I just wanna give up and not leave, but I can't keep it up this way.
So now, I have no idea if I should leave or stay. Break up or maybe propose a break? Something needs to be done cause I feel like I am going crazy