Warning: depressing ramble.
…Or at least the dynamics I’m around. especially in my family. Idk, maybe it’s a lower class thing – having to constantly compete with one another and prove how well we know each others characters.
Simultaneously ostracizing those who are harder to define as weird.
I don’t know if I’ll ever have the energy for it? I used to be super bubbly and outgoing. Drinking, nightlife, romantic affairs. But since my drop in mental health I’ve isolated so much.
And am struggling to muster the energy to play these games anymore or at least I’ve become overly aware of the games.
I used to be someone that enjoyed fantasizing and relating over ideas or the future. At the moment, that spark has left me. And everything just feels so bleak.
Mehhhhh