I'm a 21 year old adult, currently in college. I have made no connections throughout my entire education and didn't have any friends before then. I don't really talk to my family either. So much so that I'm unable to speak my native tongue properly despite never even leaving the country. The most social activity I do is bitching on reddit occasionally.
Being alone is comfortable and it feels like my attitude towards socialising is getting worse and worse.
I've had a time or two where I successfully made friends and then lost them not longer after because I'm mostly uninterested in talking and a generally boring person. I've tried making friends online but it's not much different.
The question is, how do I find the motivation to socialise when I feel like it's pointless? How do I socialise in general and is there some sort of guide to this or is it just something you learn by doing? Thank you for your time.