I’m (39m) newly divorced (well, still waiting on the decree but basically). Anyways I have been on dating sites for a couple years (yea I admit I was browsing during the strife in our marriage because I saw the writing on the wall, but I didn’t take action until we filed). Anyways I have been getting some good interest but every time I mention getting physical they freak out an ghost me. I did have one woman who we had sex on the second date and things went well after that for like a month and then she disappeared. Then there’s another one I’ve been talking to for like 2 weeks and we’re gonna meet up this weekend and I mentioned kissing and she totally freaked out! What is the usual protocol on this?
Edit: I should mention that I have autism so these sort of things don’t come naturally to me.
5 comments
… are saying this through text? 🫨☹️ it’s weird
What do you mean by the next level? Sex? Why would you mention that in texts and not meet the person first and gauge how you feel about them? If you are looking for casual no string attached encounters then just state that in your profile.
In my dating career I learned to keep my mouth SHUT.
Don’t say anything to this guy except, “Get some therapy.” It will just teach him how to get farther with women without him actually changing as a person because he will just hear “don’t do it through text” and then these poor women will waste more time on him. DONT SAY MORE. DONT TEACH MEN. They have all the same resources as us if they actually want to grow and change, which they usually do not.
Physical escalation requires mutual comfort and pacing. Early dates are for rapport, trust, and reading signals. Explicit consent and gradual progression are critical. Mentioning sex too soon can trigger withdrawal. Observe responses, start with light touch or flirtation, and let physical steps follow consent and comfort.