I’ve been dating my boyfriend for two years now, and his lack of communication continues to be a problem in our relationship. He’s a very busy person which I understand, but honestly I need some level of communication.
He’s never been good at text messages – for example if I send him a text then there’s a good chance he’ll just never reply. If he does reply it’s often a one or two word response. That was something I addressed early in our relationship – and he said he prefers calls instead. But then every time we’re together he’s always messaging other people about things and replying immediately.
So then I would call him maybe once or twice a week. He’d pick up and he’d be happy to call but most of the time when I said things on the phone he just wouldn’t really respond or listen properly – he’s always doing something else at the same time and so it always ends with me hanging up really upset.
So no more calls – in person communication instead! Except he’s not very good at that either – if I talk about anything deep at all he doesn’t even reply properly if at all. For example, I’ve had a serious medical condition recently and obviously that’s something I want him to understand. So I talked to him about it in depth and he didn’t say a thing or even look at me. So I asked later if he understood and he asked me to repeat it which I did, but still no reply at all. If I ask him any questions about him – he gives short if any responses. I spoke to him about it in depth and he said he’d try, and perhaps he’s gotten a little better by asking me something occasionally (which I appreciate but doesn’t really help enough with maintaining a relationship).
The last weekend was just the final straw for me. He said he would come over and stay the night. So I made dinner for him and had it ready, and was excited for him to come. Id had a tough day with my medical condition which he knew and he’d even told me during the day that he’d be able to come a bit earlier since his last commitment was finishing up sooner. But then time went by and he didn’t come and it was an hour after he was supposed to be there. So I gave him a call and he said oh I’m not coming anymore I thought I told you. He hadn’t told me. His reason was that he had to work on his uni project and didn’t really plan things out properly. That whole situation just really hurt. How hard is it to just send me a quick text to say that he’s not going to be able to come, or even better just plan ahead and not commit to seeing me? I don’t really get it at all.
Aside from his communication, he’s a great boyfriend. He often gives me gifts and his love language is physical touch so he always loves to hug me and things like that. He’ll cook for me, and he’s happy to do things for me, and he likes spending time together. But communication is such a big thing. I’ve tried talking to him about it a few times but that’s not really helping. I’m not sure how to handle this situation.
TL;DR My boyfriend doesn’t respond properly to texts, calls or in-person communication.