How do I feel more comfortable around my BIL’s GF? We don’t have to be bffs, just comfortable around each other bc she is like a permanent guest here (I live with my in-laws).
I used to say hi to her all the time. The first few times I did this, she would give my BIL a look but idk what it meant. Felt odd though. When I noticed that my BIL or her didn’t do it on their own accord, I stopped greeting them altogether.
Some instances that made me feel weird:
When I walk in a room and she’s there, she would make eye contact and wait for us to acknowledge her. That happens when she is alone. When she’s with my BIL, she would be conversing with him and not look at me at all.
One time she was like, “I haven’t seen you in a long time!” which I thought was for me bc we just came home from a three-day trip, but when I turned around she was talking to my cat.
Another time, they both walked in but it was only my BIL who looked at me so I said hi and he said hi back. I tried to make eye contact with her but she just continued conversing with him so I didn’t say anything.
Another time, when they walked in, she was saying “you’re so hot” to him over and over again so I just walked away bc it was awkward.
One time, I walked in on her when she was in the kitchen but she didn’t turn around, just minded her own business but she for sure heard me. So that was awkward bc we were both just pretending the other person wasn’t there.
She does say hi sometimes without prompting, but I’ve noticed that it’s only when I’m with my husband so it feels like she only says hi to him.
My husband, being the peacemaker that he is, downplays it and says that maybe she is just shy and that I’m overthinking. I agree that I’m overthinking, but I also think I’m pretty good at telling when people have an “off” vibe. But in this situation, idk if that off vibe is caused by me bc I was uncomfortable from the beginning which in turn made her uncomfortable.
He says that the fact that I feel anxious when she’s over means there’s something wrong bc I’m purposefully not greeting her now. Would it be weird to suddenly start greeting her again?