Honing up my social skills is absolutely pointless because even though I might understand it all privately at my home, there's no way for me to apply it IRL without my anxiety shutting me down,
I.E.:
A d&d session overwhelmed me to the point I had to go lie down on the bathroom floor, and I quit the group altogether at around session 8 – This was after I was already told that the strangers in the group like me.
—————————
I also spend a lot of time on dating subs – pointless, I can't apply the advice.
I struggle starting new hobbies because again, I'm the quiet weirdo in group hobbies who shuts down and the loneliness/possible socialization (or both) overwhelms me even in groups of 30 people.
I already have hobbies at home but I'm too depressed to do them knowing I'm missing out on socialization, lack soft skills everyone else has, etc.
What do people do in this situation?