Recently got into a relationship. My gf told me about her past realtionships. One of it is a ONS. This really bothers me. I see sex as something intimate and beautiful. She said she had only one ONS and would not repeat such an act but still she is very cheerful while explaining about it and says it is as "funny memory" of hers.
What bothers me is the fact that i see sex as something intimate and beautiful which i can do with smo i really like and i would not make sex without initating a relationship after that(otherwise i don't rally like that person).
Second, ONS are cheap, especilly for women. It makes her look easy. I mean she slept with a guy on their first meet and me i had to put effort in sleeping with her. Make it beautiful, romantic, bought her flowers i really enjoyed the fact she liked it. But i will always know there was a guy who slept with her just after 2-3 hours of convo or even less. Fucked her worse than i do now and still she remebers him with good and this is going to be a bright moment filled with positive emotions for the rest of her life. So i think this guy is definitely better than me, more of a man, more masculine. I am just some kind of simp. Every nice gesture i do after that seems like simping. I have to put effort for sleeping with her. Why should i, when somebody got it more easily than me.
Still, i am not attractive to women and had a years long dry spell. So if i want to have any kind of girl(even not my dream one) i would be forced into making this as a compromise. It really sucks. Tell me, how to overcome these thoughts?