I just got a message from my cousin asking for a copy of my ID (front and back) because she wants to include me in her will

Her message literally said something like:

“Hey, I need your ID copy, don’t worry, not for a loan, it’s for my will 😂”

Now, a bit of context.

My cousin and I have had a difficult relationship for years. She’s struggled with alcoholism and tends to be very controlling, everything has to go her way

Because of that, she’s had major fallouts with almost everyone in the family

I’ve managed to stay on okay terms with her by keeping cordial distance, friendly enough to avoid conflict, but far enough not to get dragged into her drama

My mum is one of the few people who still speaks to her regularly, but even she’s cautious and told me to pause before replying

The thing is, whenever my cousin “offers” something, money, gifts, or now this, there are usually strings attached. It often turns into guilt, expectations, or emotional pressure later.

So when she said she wants me in her will, my first reaction was suspicion and discomfort.

To complicate things, my mum suspects my cousin might be seriously ill (possibly terminally). She mentioned some hospital visits, but no one knows for sure.

Now I feel stuck:

  • If I don’t respond or say no, it could completely sour the fragile peace we’ve managed to keep

  • If I say yes, I might be inviting manipulation, guilt trips, and emotional entanglement I’ve worked hard to avoid

  • And yes, part of me is tempted, she has some assets or property, so there’s that internal conflict too (she’s upper middle income and much more well off than me)

I feel like there’s no way to respond without damaging the relationship, and I don’t want to make things worse, especially if she’s genuinely unwell

I haven’t replied yet

Question
Should I even consider agreeing to this, or is that just asking for trouble?

TL;DR:

Cousin with a history of alcoholism and manipulation suddenly asked for my ID so she can put me in her will. Every time she “gives” something, there are strings attached. I’ve kept my distance for years, but I’m afraid saying no or hesitating could destroy our already fragile relationship. How can I respond thoughtfully and safely


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