Reposted: due to missing length of relationship
My partner and I have been together for 5 years and recently have been arguing SO much recently due to lack of sleep bc of our baby. I'm a SAHM and My partner originally agreed to watch the baby overnights while going to work. Due to me having medical health issues that pretty much make it impossible for me to get sleep even when I actually can.
Every now and again our baby goes through a regression (like most babies). I have been waking up with him during these times to help out as I am the primary caregiver, I understand that during harder times she just wants me. But once we figure out how to get her to sleep better, we usually revert back to the original agreement.
The baby recently started teething and is also going through a regression. I have been staying up with him and even taking her for hours during the night so he can sleep. Causing me to get even less sleep for the last 2.5 weeks. We finally figured it out and now that she's able to sleep I know he is as well. So the last 2 nights when she wakes up, I don't get up to help him. He will purposely make a show of getting up and throwing a tantrum pretty much.
For example, one night she woke up he laid there (as to see if she would go back to sleep on her own) and when she didn't he threw his legs up in the air and slammed them down on the bed and sighed REALLY loudly. I turned around barely tapped (slapped-ish to get his attention) him on the arm and whispered for him to stop that she's just a baby.
Now the last 2 nights I haven't been getting up and he makes a show of it to wake me up. I have still been getting up to help him. EVERY SINGLE TIME he starts an argument. Saying that we should be switching overnights or taking turns. Like he gets the first half and I get the second half. I have denied this every time and he gets more mad about it.
I take care of her 5-6 days a week by myself for 12+ hours on top of managing the household and attempting to manage my multiple health issues by myself. Half the time I don't even get to shower bc he's up my ass saying "the baby needs me". When he gets home from work he is supposed to watch her and take care of her until he goes to work so I can get some rest. But ever since I've healed more from having the baby (C-section), when he's watching her he asks me to literally DO EVERY SINGLE THING. For example: grab him couch pillows and blankets so he can lay on the floor next to the baby, make him breakfast lunch, dinner, coffees and lunch for work, change her diaper so he can "go pee", make her bottles so he can "watch her" instead of having to get up himself, prep her bath for her nightly bath, etc.
I feel like he is treating me like I am his mom too and I'm tired of it. He feels like I'm not doing enough and that I need to do more overnights.
I have gotten to the point where I tell him I'm just going to break up with him, so he can see what it's like to manage a household, a baby, and himself by himself bc I feel like he's taking me for granted. All he says is "mhm" and ignores the comment. I have more then half a mind to just pack my shit and leave him at this point. So it can open his eyes to every thing I do for him.
Edit to add: The baby is 5.5 months old and he works 8 hour shifts but wakes up so early and comes home so late I am with her for 12 hours by myself with no help. She is a complicated napper, so I end up not being able to nap at all during the day on top of lack of sleep at night due to my health issues. He watches her for a total of 3-4 hours before it's her bedtime. Then bedtime she does maybe 1-2 wake ups at night if she isn't going through a regression.
No we do not have any outside support. My mom believes my baby needs 1 nap a day and that I feed her too much. My pediatrician has confirmed that I do not feed her too much. So we can't trust my mom to give her the naps she needs or feed her and I'm top of that we have asked her previously to watch her ( before she's said these things) and she always said no.
His mom physically assaulted me 2 weeks before I got pregnant…that kind of speaks for itself. His dad just got back from being deployed so he wasn't even an option. They're divorced for context. So their really is no support.
TL;DR: My partner treats me like I'm his mother after having his kid when he's watching his own kid and I am seriously debating on leaving him. He wants me to do overnights with the baby as well as catering to his every whim when he's home watching the baby. I already watch her 5-6 days a week 12+ hours a day.
Any advice? Should I actually be helping him do overnights?