The other night my wife and I were getting ready for bed and she told me I had left the back slider unlocked after taking out the dogs. I’ve also locked her out by mistake out of a reflex to lock the door behind me but she wasn’t outside this time and I just forgot to lock behind me. I told her that maybe I was just subconsciously thinking to not lock her out again and then said that I guess I really had no way to be right sometimes. This was really just a reaction to bigger feelings I have been having as I am constantly told how I don’t do things the way she wants them or I’ve forgotten something. We are very different about this because I tend to not sweat the small stuff but she sweats everything. I hate how messy her nightstand is, but it’s not worth bringing up because it’s small in my eyes. I’m told that I left a cupboard open or I didn’t put the toothpaste back right…usually small things, but hearing it all day makes me feel like a burden instead of a help.
Anyway, my comment was met with a response saying, “ do you know how infantile that sounds? You’re an executive dealing with shit all day and you get upset over this?” End of discussion-I shut down. Why didn’t she ask why I felt this way instead of dismissing me? She gets crazy emotional over stuff that I find absurd, but I still listen.
I think I do a lot for our family. Her adult kids get to live with us in a beautiful home and she gets to stay home and not work, but that seemingly goes unappreciated and that’s the bigger issue for me. Like why are you hassling me over this? Maybe I am just a child who she says she has to walk on eggshells around?