TLDR: Been asking husband for help with 2 very young kiddos for at least a month now both verbally and in writing only to be ignored. Now getting called names as unable to keep up with tasks due to burnout. Not sure how to get through to him.
We are parents to 2 kiddos one of whom is a baby, the older child isn't normal and needs extra help. For the past month (I checked my messages), every few days I've been telling my husband over and over I am tired from doing all day and night feeds of baby (he does the infrequent one feed a day now and then), taking care of the older one and getting him ready for school, plus housework.
He just doesn't respond to my messages and listens when I say it verbally but doesn't take action. Lately I've been slow in keeping up with tasks and I've been called "useless woman" more than once in front of my older child. I won't lie I've started lashing out too over the past week as I feel like I'm just not getting heard and have been told to "grow up so I can talk to adults". We live too far away for family to help.
I don't know how to get through to him, I'm desperate for a 3 hour stretch of sleep so I can just please rest but he doesn't seem to understand. His continuous lack of response has started to make me wonder sometimes if I'm just begging for help in my head but I do have written messages. I'm on mat leave and he's not so I know the burden should fall more on me but I am just so tired seeing a pile of laundry and dirty dishes at night after both kids are asleep day on day.