This happens almost every 10 days. He blows up and becomes overcome with anger – swearing at me , laughing hysterically at me, cutting across me, silencing me, shouting over me, telling me to fuck off and storming off whilst I talk. I call it a “5 day spiral” because it always lasts 5 days. It happened again tonight. And I already know it’s going to last for another 5 days. He doesn’t see the error in his ways. And I no longer have any interest in being intimate with him because he is so angry and I’ve no safe space to speak to him as I never know how he is going to react “will he remain calm? Will he lose his head and erupt?”.
This has been going on for 5 years…every 7 or 10 days over the last 5 years.
The strange thing is, he keep initiating sex with me and I’ve completely lost all interest in it because of how badly he speaks to me. I do it now and again but then I hate myself for doing it because it’s all for him and then he could end up shouting at me and swearing at me later that night. I just think “you cannot possibly love me if you speak to me in the way that you do”.
It’s really upsetting me because he isn’t changing and is completely horrible to me when he explodes. He has such low emotional intelligence, it’s really frustrating. I don’t understand why his need to get so angry and aggressive, like why can he not talk or listen without resorting to such hostile aggressive behaviour. He just completely loses himself.