My wife and I were pregnant with our first child and he had no heartbeat at 38 weeks. He was deliver delivered stillborn at the end of June.
The first month we were both very sad and grieved with each other. The second month until current, I’ve seen a dramatic shift in her behavior. she feels numb. She can’t feel love. She’s just exhausted and tired and nothing brings her joy. Over the past couple of weeks she has said some very hurtful things to me, the most recent of which being that while she will always love me, she is no longer in love with me. We do not have a connection anymore.
I tried suggesting talking to her OB about how she was feeling but “she doesn’t need pills to feel better”, and she’s “managing her grief just fine”. She also thinks it’s never going to get better and that she’s been trying for a very, very long time and not seeing any results.
She’s brought up issues now even before the pregnancy that she’s held her tongue about to spare my feelings but now she can’t hold it in anymore. She’s felt rejected by me as well as not feeling like a priority. I keep reassuring her that that was never true, but she doesn’t seem to get it.
She doesn’t want to be physically touched by me, and I am now the one that says I love you unprompted where before it was always her.
I took a trip home by myself to see some old friends and family this past week and she said that she did not miss me and didn’t mind being alone. She felt freed and untrapped.
I tell her every single day that we have to keep trying, but she says she’s tried for a while and nothing is happening. My wife is the light of my world and I can’t imagine a life without her. I just don’t want to lose her.
Edit:
we are currently scheduled to see marriage counseling at the end of the month. When I say she said, “I love you” unprompted that didn’t mean I didn’t say it at all. She would just randomly tell me throughout the day. I also took that trip because I thought it might be good for us to get some time alone.