This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.
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Mornin’ y’all! May you all have a calm Sunday, reset, and prepare to tackle the week tomorrow.
I’m new to online dating. I’ve gotten a couple of messages along the following lines after matching:
“Hey I appreciate the like but I am looking for something serious and your profile notes you are not.”
My dating intentions are set to “short term, open to longterm” with the note “Not actively looking for anything serious, but open to seeing where a good connection goes.”
I’m surprised people even take the time to message back after I like them. Are these people just being polite/transparent or are they looking for some kind of additional information/context from me?
So glad I have youth sports to keep me distracted from dating.
What OLD allows you to write something decently long? It has been years since I was on any of them.
Looking to the future, and what do I see?
A hundred more first dates
Looking at me
Feeling a bit down today. Had a few dates that went well this week. I don’t feel like any of them stand out but it’s also was all 1st and second dates. I usually turn off my apps in November and December so maybe it’s just time to do it early. Asked a guy for a third date and he hasn’t responded so it’s probably a no.
Had a first date scheduled for Thursday but he canceled because I wanted to meet at 7 and not right after he got off of work. lol I’m not gonna cancel my obligations for a first date
My boyfriend is abroad for vacation for 3 weeks and it’s been hard but I had a great day yesterday with friends/family and it helped with my anxiety. I don’t know how I’ll do it, I miss him a ton already. Thankfully he’s been sending some photos and updates every now and then. Praying these next 3 weeks go by extremely fast, haha.
First weekend of the now forever of weekends that I don’t get to see him.
I didn’t ask often, but the thought that there will be no one to pour me coffee except me is daunting.
Went to an art thing last night but it mostly just made me sad we didn’t get to go together.
9 am work tomorrow, I guess making money will be my distraction now.
I’m low-key (ok, ok, maybe high-key) jealous of everyone who gets to find their person.
I’ve been dating a guy for almost three months now, we both admitted we’re in love and I have a feeling we might make it official this week! It’s been years since I was in love with someone, there have been periods where I seriously thought maybe love just wasn’t meant for me anymore (a silly and destructive thought, I know). Anyway, it feels like something worth celebrating and mentioning here 🙂
Are there any guides or resources to help guys who are on the spectrum? Lessons, books, or just tips for when you are abysmal at reading body language, vibes and energy?
I’m fairly social with friends and coworkers, but the more subtle signs of the dating world are just unrecognizable to me. Like, I can’t even read the body language of lifelong friends when it’s not something obvious like them literally laughing or crying and that’s with the help of a therapist.
Thankful for anything, really. I know I posted something similar yesterday, just wondering if such resources for me to spend time with exist at all
In my dating life I get told a lot that I have a very calming presence, and I got that feedback from the mom whose kids I watched last night saying her youngest went to bed super easily this time. So riding that high today 😎
I’m convinced I’ve lost… something about myself.
There was a point in time several years ago where I had a lot of better luck with women and wasn’t shy at all about talking to them. But now, not all the time, but there’s times when I get the sweats when I’m talking to someone.
Just now at work, I got cold feet because I was confident that I was going to shoot my shot at this woman, but when the time came, I sorta froze up. I was talking casually but didn’t follow through on what I was going to do.
Anybody else going through something similar where they feel like they lost their… spark, or whatever?
It’s been about a month of seeing a guy and I feel a little bit torn. I’m attracted to him and I think he’s a great guy, we have fun together and for once here’s a guy who values commitment and communication.
For the past few years, every guy I’ve felt like I naturally clicked more and felt more “myself” around, laughed easier with – has had commitment issues or just didn’t want to be with me for whatever reasons. It’s been so consistently that across the board, and it’s left me wondering if I really even know what I’m looking for anymore. I’ve always wanted someone where I just felt like the best version of myself with, someone who felt like my best friend.
I think with this guy, who I think is the only guy I’ve met who I’m both attracted to and who may want something serious with me, I feel like our personalities may not fully line up. He’s a bit cheesier than I am, while my humor is much much drier. He’ll say certain things to me at times where I know he’s being sweet and most likely is genuine, but I just find the corny lines a little cringey and it’s hard for me to reciprocate without a little sarcasm (which is just how I normally talk).
We do have fun and have a lot in common, and I know I’m being ridiculous for letting this bother me so much. Any input to help me get out of this mindset?
In an absolutely diabolical move I scheduled a date for 9am on a Sunday, and it went shockingly well. I’m still sorta baffled by how well it went. Hopefully there shall be a second.
I’m generally down on “tradition” and “gender roles” and stuff but it does give things a sense of predictability that, at least on a conceptual level, I can understand why people prefer it
Today’s example: a woman that generally lets you plan and initiate things, meet near her, etc, suddenly very urgently wants to plan something near you/your house. In my gender tea leaves, this is their polite way of setting up a breakup or otherwise cutting things off. They leave, you are close to your house if you need to go be sad, they don’t have to kick you out or worry about sending you home, I get it
Something very funny has a chance of happening tomorrow night
Maxed out on my apps again, keep getting people not my type swiping on me, like one guy I’m 5’5 and he is 5’3, I’m not big on height like you just be 6’0 or something but at least taller than me considering I’m planning to wear heels.
I miss being in a stable relationship but I’m so sick of the early stages of dating. 19 first dates this year. At this point feeling like there’s no one out there for me.
i recently moved back into my hometown. it’s…. rural. i force myself to just get out there and today’s date just kinda made me too sad to see him again.
first date: i think it was coffee. it happened to be an ethnic place where i didnt understand anything (needed lots more pictures and descriptions!). he just wanted a plain black coffee and ordered the first thing on the menu. i tried to choose something interesting. it was a beautiful day. we walked around the strip mall, etc. i was so hungry and he wasnt offering to eat anywhere so i kept trying to leave to get lunch on my own.
second date: we grabbed breakfast at a greasy diner before my Saturday workday. i dont think he sees it as a greasy diner
third date: i was mildly interested in seeing his church but ultimately skipped it. he insisted on meeting up afterwards. initially, he had wanted to drive far away for ice cream but the weather today is terrible. i try to stay in his price range so i chose a healthy protein shakes place where he tried to order plain black coffee with no luck. we ended up moving to a crappy bagel shoppe. we talked about the menu but since he only wanted to get coffee, i followed suite.
i guess what i’m trying to say is that after all these years, i still feel out of place and hopelessly alone.
I matched with this woman on Hinge and we exchanged numbers. she wanted to voice and then video chat before meeting which is fine. we voice chatted and are planning to video chat next week.
the weird thing is she either hide or unmatched her profile in Hinge when I tried to re read her profile… is this a red flag, given she is responding to my texts? should I ask her or just go along with texting and eventually meeting if she feels ok?
Has anyone else had a partner who had significant medical/mental health issues? It feels like every day or two it’s something. Between just general discomfort, stress from work, and panic attacks that seemingly come out of nowhere (like getting into bed for the night), I feel like it’s a constant drag on our relationship. I know it’s not fair of me to hold it against them, as they’re well aware and seeking treatment, but at some point it, it’s just exhausting. Seems like a day can’t go by where something isn’t bothering them.
I took a week off and it didn’t cure my burnout so I’m feeling really sad about getting back to it tomorrow. Also drank a bit too much last night so I’m feeling just as depressed about being old/sick and alone as I am about accidentally seeing wrestling spoilers online this morning 😂😂 starting the week off strong lol
Just had two women tell me that it’s not going to work. One I was supposed to meet with this evening for dinner and the other I had just matched with on an app. It’s weird how close the messages were in time.
But maybe ultimately a good thing? I just had a sleepover date with a woman I’ve been seeing for a month now and it was really great! I think I want to just focus on her going forward.
Had a good weekend. Went for a hike yesteday for about 3 hours. Then we went back to a pub and had a few drinks. I’ve also done some baking as I’ve been slacking.
Made a banana and chocolate chip loaf. Which is delicious, If I do say so myself.
Hope everyone is having a great weekend!