Bf and I have been together for 7 years and were friends before that; we’ve basically spent our whole lives together. I love him dearly—we have a million different inside jokes, we can communicate with each other from just a half-second look, and we know each other almost as well as we know ourselves. We literally spend almost 24/7 together, I can’t imagine my life without him and I can’t wait to marry him once we’re financially ready.
As of late I’ve been really thinking about my life and my goals more. I’ve always had big goals, and my to-do list is practically infinite. My boyfriend, however, doesn’t really have any solid goals at all. He’s technically in college, but full-time seems to be too much for him to handle, so he’s only taking two easy classes right now. He doesn’t know what he actually wants to even do, despite us both (technically) having been in college for two years now. He also doesn’t work (and for the year that he did, he only worked 8 hrs on Sundays). His parents are very enthusiastic about supporting him, so he gets a hefty monthly allowance and we live at my family’s house, so he doesn’t really need a job but he doesn’t take advantage of that.
And even with all of this, because his parents have outright said they’d support him “until he told them not to”, I’m not that worried about our future together. Worse case scenario, I make most of the money and his parents supplement his part, and he takes care of chores or something. But what’s really getting to me is that I feel like his lack of goals or really activity at all is bringing me down.
I want to eat healthier—but he doesn’t really care to eat better, so he’ll still buy/eat junk food. I want to have a more consistent sleep schedule—but he doesn’t care until our schedules are mismatched and then he wants me to go back to our inconsistent sleep schedule. I want to focus on school and study more, but he just chatGPTs his work and I get tempted watching him do nothing that I get lazy and half-ass my work. There’s so many different examples of this sort of thing, where his presence just tempts me into not doing things I want to do or just holds me back.
I know that’s my problem—I shouldn’t be falling for my temptations to begin with—but it’s genuinely interfering with my ability to succeed in a way I want to succeed. Whenever he isn’t home (for example, we had a bad fight a couple months ago so he stayed at his parents’ house for a week) I’m much more productive, but I miss him so much when I inevitably want to relax. I also have ADHD, so fighting against my own executive dysfunction is already a struggle, and his lack of productivity in any way just makes it harder.
What do I even do here?
TL;DR: BF is very unproductive and has no goals, and it tempts me to also be very unproductive. I love him a lot, and sincerely cherish his presence, it just makes it difficult for me to progress in life.