My husband and I haven't had sex at all this year. We only did it once last year and it was 4 years of nothing before that so in the last 5 years we've only done it one time. We are in our mid 30s, early 40s.
The last time I attempted anything sexual was about 6 months ago when i tried to give him oral. He wouldn't let me, he ran out of the room, literally ran, and then a few weeks later he told me he hated it and to never do it again. I have not initiated anything sexual since.
I know he watches porn and he has had an affair in the past and ive caught him flirting with other women through text messages. Just a few days ago I found porn on the watch history on our TV. I also found a fleshlight hidden in the rafters of the basement. He says he isnt gay and I believe him based on his affair, flirting, and straight porn.
Ive had a million talks with him about this and it goes nowhere. He says there's nothing wrong. I find myself feeling ugly and disgusting since he clearly doesnt want me and hasn't wanted me for the past 5 years. Im lost.