I am a stay at home mom. My husband has always spoken like he has great appreciation for SAHM but in private and as time went on some true colors showed up. Since I stopped working after I had my daughter he has always downplayed it like we have it easy. He doesn’t really think men should have much responsibility when it comes to the children or anything around the house other than providing. I have kind of just accepted this and embraced my life being my precious baby girls mother. I love being her mother and I am so grateful I get to stay home and take care of her. I keep the house very tidy, constantly. To an unrealistic standard for having children (yes we both have other kids) in the house I somehow still manage it. I am always cleaning or putting something away. I cook really good home cooked meals, maybe once a week do something easier. And yes we do sometimes have leftover so I do not slave away in the kitchen every day. We have a decent sex life. Probably not the best (I’d say 3-4 times a week some weeks once or twice other weeks and usually do go about a week without sex each month. but I did just have another baby 7 months ago and I kinda feel emotionally alone a lot lately. He does complain about how we don’t have a lot of sex .. but I try to work on that. Anyway, I manage our budget and all our appointments and lists of reminders and just In general take care of everything aside from making an income. I do embrace this roll. I enjoy being responsible and tidy and appreciate the life I have. But I do however feel empty sometimes. There are strains on our marriage because I have expressed that I don’t feel appreciated, seen or heard. I have expressed these issues a lot now and they are met with defensive comparison or just actually being ignored. I understand no man wants to be “nagged” but it started out just trying to communicate it. But today when I brought up wanting to use some of my husbands tax return he will get for our daughter on some things I want to get her and maybe do something to spoil myself like get a facial or something. (Because he had said he would let me have her part of the tax return, I was not just asking) he kinda backtracked because he’s wanting to use his tax return to buy a bike now. I just said “you did tell me I could have it and I want to get her some things and maybe something for myself, kinda like a little appreciation gift?” He said without hesitation “you don’t deserve an appreciation gift. You do the bare minimum and bitch about it all the time” .. my jaw literally dropped and I walked away and cried in our room. I didn’t even know what to say cause I feel like it’s so far from the truth. I never bitch about what I do. I am actually grateful that I am able to be home and take care of our children and home. I have expressed that several times. I guess he sees my other issues with how I feel as bitching about being a stay at home mom? Partly just venting but also looking for some advice I guess. Like… what do I even say.. how do I handle this???? I am so hurt. I feel like I do my absolute best.