I keep reading these posts from both male and female people about how their partners think that masturbating is cheating and it makes my head explode. You have a right to have a sexual relationship with yourself. It’s not cheating!!!! UPDATE: this post is about having no shame around self pleasure. It’s not about porn addiction. I meant it as a way to support a positive, healthy relationship with yourself and as a warning to those whose partners have controlling ideas around this.
36 comments
100% agree. Better to do it together but when you’re apart, it’s 100% normal. Perhaps share some spicy pic with each other to make it feel more intimate between partners. ❤️
There’s usually some inadequacy issues to work through by the other person.
For me , I had those feelings because I wondered why wouldn’t he just have spicy sleep with me instead. It took time but I figured out my hang up and got over it.
Not everyone realizes and works on their gang ups on this topic.
Say it louder for the people in the back! Lol
Seriously so many people have hang ups about it being cheating or they don’t feel good enough if their partner does it. But at the end of the day they were in the mood and u wernt and that’s ok! And sometimes there isn’t time to put on the whole show lol
Agree. 100%
I know she does it and always has. I don’t need to know when, why, or how (although that would be HOT!)
She knows I do it and always have. She doesn’t need to know when, why, or how. She doesn’t ask.
We both enjoy making it part of an encounter as well.
There is never anything wrong with some self-love in a private (and legal) setting.
I’m not married, but I’m in this situation. My partner doesn’t approve of it but I feel like she has no say when sex is so rare.
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I wholeheartedly agree! Masturbating is not cheating.
In fact, in my opinion, masturbating can be a plus in a relationship. It can be beneficial by helping partners understand each other’s pleasure, kinks, and managing different libidos.
I don’t recall any posts like this that do not mention porn. I don’t necessarily agree, but the idea that porn is cheating is a logically coherent conclusion. Policing literal mastrubation is bizarre and completely different from rapidly emerging criticisms towards porn.
It’s part of experience to learn about your body and desires
Not in and of itself, but if you’re masturbating vs having sex with your partner when you have opportunities to, it can be a signal for a deeper issue.
Edit: Spelling
Post nut clarity can legit save someone’s marriage. Like just the act alone can relieve a guy from further lustful thoughts. Men are stupid and they think with their dicks so as long as they get the lust out and back to take care of their queen I truly don’t see it as a bad thing. It’s only bad when the masturbating takes over the bedroom fun.
Best foreplay ever, masterbating together
I agree however the posts I have read, usually entail a porn addiction and a dead bedroom. And their spouse masturbating to exorbitant amount of porn while neglecting the needs of their spouse
My wife left for an out of state workshop on Wednesday. I made sure she packed one of her favorite little friends for the trip so that she can relax in the evening. It’s what a good partner wants for each other.
I agree with this but I don’t agree that people can’t set boundaries for their own relationships.
Agreed but I also think that some people, men especially, need to understand that masturbation is not and shouldn’t always be synonymous with porn
Depends on what you’re doing it to though.
agreed 100%.
Also, watching porn is not cheating.
We all have different ways to ignite ourselves. Women are less visual than men, we usually don’t need to see, but if we read is the same effect that has in man.
The difference is that I can read in public and looks seamless but my mind is “living” a very explicit experience.
I’ve never heard anyone say that masturbation is cheating.
in and amongst itself is not cheating, however, you cheat your partner if you’d rather masturbate than have sex; different kind of cheating
If he’s masturbating to pics of me absolutely go for it dude! Have a balling good time! But if he’s masturbating to another woman and then when I try to initiate sex he’s all “spent” and unable to perform.. that’s the issue. That’s when it feels like cheating.
I think people mostly have a problem with people masturbating to porn or fantasizing about someone else but their spouse.
I am a porn addict (?) I think at least. Porn and masturbation are intertwined for me. So when I stay away from porn I don’t masturbate either which can be a challenge. I never had a healthy relationship to sex and sexuality. My sexual feelings and my body was taboo until I got married but because of that I sadly developed unhealthy urges to porn and acted out anyways hur that caused me a lot of shame which it still does to this day and that torments me a lot if I give in. My wife is against porn and that of course adds to that.
So I have to stay away from masturbation.
I agree 100%. Although I do have an issue in my personal relationship with my husband, I’m constantly begging him for sex. He never has sex with me, but he’s always masturbating while I’m home.
Anyone who thinks this is cheating is a red flag control freak
In my relationship, no it isn’t but you don’t know what someone else’s definition of cheating is. If people don’t think the same things are cheating, it isn’t going to work.
That’s determined by the relationship itself and its boundaries, but I don’t understand that one and it’s not something I would agree to.
Masterbation is only a problem if it replaces sex with your partner.
Masturbation is completely natural and releases endorphins, which reduces stress. No one should feel ashamed for doing it.
Louder please! Everyone deserves pleasure Especially when your partner doesn’t give you of it.
Wife knows I do, I know she does. When we are together she ask me to tell her about the last time I did it, what I watched (barely ever need to watch anything), what I thought about. It is a huge turn on for us both.
There is nothing wrong with self gratification.
You’re underestimating just how insecure people in this sub are.
I agree to an extent.
Masturbation is not cheating, HOWEVER, viewing porn or paying for porn/onlyfans CAN be considered a form of cheating. Getting off to someone else and not your partner is a completely valid reason to view it as cheating.
I’d rather you masturbate than go meet with an ex
I’m sure in my wife’s mind she has or has had fantasies about her ideal guy. And I know that guy was NOT me(she dated dark skin/Jamaican/Haitian guys before me.
On the other hand, I don’t care. Fantasize about who you want. As long as she isn’t going back to them whatever.
I get serious mormon vibes from this sub and not in a funny way but like a cultish way
100% correct. I will also add that *if* it’s not causing a problem in your real-life sex life, this DOES extend to porn as well. However, it’s really hard for porn to not to cause a problem (e.g. death grip, unrealistic body image problems, unrealistic ideas of what to do, or focusing on porn instead of your partner), so that’s a slippery slope. But overuse of a favorite toy can cause the same thing because you get used to orgasm a specific way. So the main idea is to switch things up across the board so you don’t get stuck in a rut.
But if your real sex is just fine and your self pleasure involves porn, or toys, or fantasizing, or anything not illegal, then you do you, buckaroo. Literally.