I (20M) dated a girl (22F) this past summer for about two months. We met through tinder but things felt way different from any other matches, the chemistry was there right from the start. We went on around 6 dates + a few other times hanging out with each other’s friends, things felt really natural and mutual.
About a month in, she opened up to me about some issues because of her last relationship that ended I think around 9 months ago at the time. She never fully explained what they were, but she told me she was still working through them. She said she wanted to be absolutely sure about things before getting into anything new and didn’t want her past to affect something good. I respected that and told her I had no issues taking things a bit slower.
Everything stayed great after that and I’d almost forgotten about it until the last week we talked. Her replies got slower and less engaged, until one day she sent me a long paragraph where she said she wasn’t in a spot to get into something more serious out of the fear of getting hurt if it didn’t work out. She said it ironically had nothing to do with me, I believe she was telling the truth as she really seemed apologetic and gave a big explanation about it all. She ended things by saying she’d still like to try and be friends and “maybe try again in the future”.
In the moment I told her I liked her but wouldn’t be able to just look at her as a friend, and if she ever felt ready to try again I’d be open to it. She said she understood me, and if I ever changed my mind on being friends to let her know. This happened right at the end of July, it’s been about 2.5 months and we haven’t talked since.
I was right in the middle of studying for finals when this happened, so I didn’t really have time to process it. Now that some time has passed and I’ve had a few first and second dates that were meh I can’t stop thinking about her and what we had. Part of me feels I probably should leave it, I might just reopen old feelings and make things worse for no reason, but another part of me is thinking things ended between us because of bad timing and maybe that’s changed. I wouldn’t want to pressure anything but I’d like to see how she’s been, besides the whole dating aspect I really enjoyed talking to her and she was someone I felt I could talk about anything with.
This is all a weird situation for me, usually when things end with someone regardless of how it happens I never think about reaching out again, for some reason with her I can’t get it out of my head.
Would it be a mistake to message her after this long? Or is it better to leave things and move on?