My gf and I have been together for quite some time now and I will say that our dynamic together is great. I think we have come a really long way from the start of our relationship and have worked through many different issues and have come out stronger due to that. At this point in my life however I personally don’t know if I am ready for marriage and don’t necessarily feel like I have any drive to ask her to marry me.
A little back story so you have more to go off of is that I love her whole heartedly but also don’t always know if the romantic aspect is there at all times. We have tried to work on that but it doesn’t always come naturally and it’s hard to force that. I’m not sure if that’s based on my attraction to her, our relationship as a whole or if it’s just me and how I am handling our relationship. I hate to say this but I don’t feel like I want to “jump her bones” when she is naked and changing in front of me. We would normally have sex like once a week but I sometimes worry that the reason I want to is because i just want to have sex and it isn’t for the right reasons.
My family absolutely loves her and wants me to marry her, her family is also the exact same way. She has brought out a lot of great things in me and I admire her fully. She is one of the best people I know and have ever met. But maybe I’m missing something with her but have a very hard time admitting that or even wanting to face it. I feel that if we did get married of course I’d be happy but idk how our relationship would keep that spark. Of course I can be in a relationship where we are stagnant but idk if I want that and don’t know what moves to make moving forward.
I think that a lot of people believe at my age you need to be married or have a family and I don’t feel that way at all. We have talked and we don’t know if we want kids. We have cats together and love them and our life we have. But again I can’t tell if it’s just a vanilla feeling or maybe social media/movies have skewed my mind to where I think there needs to be more to my relationship. I also sometimes find myself lusting over other women and I know that isn’t right but is that a feeling I have because I don’t feel fulfilled in mine? I have talked to my close friends about it and they haven’t always approved of our relationship but I know they would support me to see me happy.
Please give your insight to me because I really don’t know what to do and I obviously don’t want to waste her time with me. I have a hard time ending things with anyone in the past and this would be the worst one yet. But if anyone has ever felt this way please help me in how I am feeling and what is a good thing to do moving forward.