Last year, around mid-year, I started a relationship with someone I met online. It only lasted for about two months, but during that time something tragic happened. I lost my mom very suddenly. I loved her deeply and was with her during her final moments, which was an incredibly painful and emotional experience.
During that difficult time, the person I was dating was very supportive. Before my mom passed away, she often told me how happy she was in the relationship and how grateful she felt for it. But about three weeks after my mom’s death, everything changed. I had to travel briefly for work, and when I came back and gave her some small gifts, she told me she wasn’t ready to commit and wanted to end the relationship.
It was a shock, but I tried to handle it maturely. I thanked her for being honest, wished her well, and told her she was free to remove me from her social accounts if she wanted to. I walked her to her car, said goodbye, and left. That night was incredibly hard, and I barely slept, but the next morning I decided to remove her from my social media and focus on moving forward.
That period was extremely painful. I was grieving my mom and also heartbroken. I felt rejected and started doubting my worth, wondering if I just wasn’t special enough. To cope, I focused on improving myself. I put more effort into my work, started exercising, and slowly began regaining confidence. Over time, I made real progress.
Still, I couldn’t stop checking on her online life. She seemed completely fine, enjoying herself and living happily, which hurt even more. I kept telling myself to move on and focus on me.
A few months later, I saw her by coincidence at a public event. She approached me, greeted me warmly, made a lighthearted joke, and said she was happy to see me. I replied politely, and that was it. A few days later, she posted a few things online that reminded me of our old shared interests, almost like subtle hints, but I decided to ignore them.
Eventually, I met someone new. She’s kind, beautiful, smart, and everything I wanted in a partner. We’re still together, and things were going well until I lost my job.
Losing my job was a huge blow. For several months, I was depressed and anxious while studying, applying, and interviewing for new positions. I gained a lot of weight from stress eating and felt completely drained. After several months, I finally found a new job. It pays well, but it’s remote and not as prestigious as my previous one.
Now that I work from home, I spend a lot of time alone. Unfortunately, I fell back into the habit of checking on my ex online. She seems to be doing great, traveling, studying abroad, and possibly dating someone new. I constantly compare myself to her new partner, wondering what he has that I don’t.
Because I’m still struggling with my confidence, weight, and career, I feel insecure. I genuinely want to move on completely, not out of resentment, but for my own peace of mind and for the sake of my current relationship. It’s unfair to my girlfriend that part of me is still stuck in the past.
I’ve tried to refocus on healthy habits and work, but I keep losing energy because so much of my mind is consumed by thoughts of my ex and comparisons. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to stop.
I really need advice on how to truly let go, stop comparing, and move forward completely. I don’t wish my ex anything bad, but I want to feel free and confident again