About 3 weeks ago, on a thursday, I was harassed by my boss. It as a "move aside" little slap on the butt, on top of some other flirtatious comments, looks and sneaky touches that had been going on for about a month. No matter how many times I told him off, he didn't get the note, shit escalated to that point and I was pissed out of my mind. I went home early, I was confused, sad, pissed and scared bcs all I could think of is that I didn't want to work there anymore, I wanted to quit but I can't lose this job, it's a good job and I eart decent money. So I was spiriling, thinking if I should just talk to my boss, if I should sue, if I should quit, what would I do with my life, what other jobs could I get… I get home dealing with this shit storm, my husband asks what's going on, I feel so relieved like I was in free fall and he reached out to catch me… next thing I know I hit the ground.
He started shouting at me, saying he warned me about my boss, that he told me to get another job when I had the chance (I was going to earn less and work more) and I didn't bcs I was only thinking about money… that this shit that happened to me was just the consequence of my choices. He chased me around the house shouting at me, saying I was to blame, that he was right all along and I just wanted to jump off the fucking window to get away from him. I spent the whole fucking weekend crying, wailing and in the end I had to apologize so he'd comfort me. I was so sad, so mad, I just wanted a hug and I had to beg for it.
Now I'm just… numb. We had people staying over a few days after we "made up", I apologized to him for being harassed by my boss, so the matter was settled… I just ignored it so the vibe wouldn't be weird for when my friend arrived. We had a wonderful weekend with family and friends (they came to visit, we're living in different states), I was distracted enough not to think about it, but when they left reality started to set in… Man, I don't know what to think.
That shit broke me in a way I didn't even know I could break. If I ain't numbing myself with anything I can (drinking, smoking, gaming, scrolling) I feel so so fucking hurt. I'm scared to count on him, to open myself up… Hell, I was supposed to share my life wit this man, I can't even share something awful that happened to me at work. What would you guys do in my place?
EDIT: my situation at work is settled, there's no HR, I work directly with 2 men who are associates, I work for them both. I told my other boss what happened and he stood by me, I talked to the boss who harassed me and made it clear that he was never putting his hands on me again, he told me was going to be a completely different person from now on and so far he's being very respectful. I settled it bcs I was not going to let an asshole make me lose a good job with good pay bcs of his twisted bs ideas.