F(24) need some advice on my 4 year relationship with my bf (30).
I really need to vent to someone before i have a breakdown. My Bf (30) and I F(25) have been in a relationship for almost 4 years now. We've had our ups and downs. So to start from the beginning, i am a very private person and I don't share things unless its needed in the situation and my bf is a person who insists on updating each other on every little thing in our lives for eg. Buying a shirt, going somewhere near, etc. So naturally the very beginning of our relationship was a little rocky as i had a habit of being in my own little bubble and not updating him. So one year into the relationship, a friend who had a crush on me, decided to confess his feelings after getting drunk. I said i was in a relationship and avoided the advance and left the conversation at that. My bf after a month or so saw the conversation and thought that i intentionally hid that confession and did something behind his back. So i proved that that didn't happen and cutoff contact with the said friend. He still holds a grudge on me for this and brings up every chance he gets.
Also a point to be noted here, my bf had a pretty bad ex relationship, where the girl went off to work and she met someone there and hid that relationship the whole time and hurt my bf pretty bad. So he has some kind of trauma from that. I have always been understanding of this. But this has a pretty significant mark on our relationship.
Fast forward to now, i recently got a job and moved pretty far from my home. He lives near my home, so the problem started two weeks back, when i joined, he if insecure that whatever happened with his ex girlfriend will happen with me too. He insists on me not socializing much and not go on team outs, dinners and lunches. I am okay with this. I keep talking to him whenever i come for break as my phone is not allowed inside my work. But he gets antsy even if i am 10/15 minutes late. Then we start fighting and for the two weeks I've been here, we have fought for 10 days. I am so drained.
Any advice on how to tackle this issue?
I keeping reassuring him but it's not enough. I am out of ideas on how to solve this.
TLDR: My bf (30 ) is insecure with my (25)s job and long distance relationship. How to reassure him?