My boyfriend (30M) and I (30F) have been together for almost five years. It's a fun, caring, and happy relationship overall, but for the past year, I have been struggling with the time we spend together. The most important thing is that we don't live together. I rent an apartment with a long-term friend; he was flat-sharing but recently moved alone. We had a few discussions about living together before that, but he wanted to try living alone since he hadn't tried that before (he lived with his parents till 25, then with flatmates). I have lived alone for many years, and it's not something I need atm, but ofc I understand his need. I wouldn't want him to feel resentful for not experiencing it, plus this is not a nice way to make the decision of moving in together. So, eventually, we didn't move together, and he moved alone in a family-owned flat.
However, I am not satisfied with the amount of time we spend together, and I don't know how to handle this. Usually, we see each other on the weekends and one day during the week (and we spend these nights together too). But as we grow older, and the relationship grows with us, this doesn't feel enough for me. It feels like we are stuck in dating mode. Every week is like a big hustle of organising my professional life, workouts, friendships, and my relationship. On top of that, I feel I am the only one spending so much thought on this, and my boyfriend is just fine with the time we spend together. Even though it's quality time, seeing him twice or, if I am lucky, three times a week makes me feel like I am not in a relationship and I am just dating. I crave more intimacy. I want to share with him how my day went, or fall asleep beside him on a difficult day. But this only happens in small doses.
We both have busy schedules, we live in a big city, and our flats are 4km apart. Not bad, not great. I can't think of a solution other than living together (which would solve this issue), but this is not an option until next year, at least.
I am fed up with having to think so much about this issue while he is just rolling in peace. I think it's only his needs that are accommodated, and I end up feeling neglected. We haven't discussed this a lot, but if I want to meet some other day and he's not available, I sometimes get mad because it feels like I am chasing him all the time, and he's not equally invested. I don't know what the solution is. What should I do so we can meet halfway?
TL;DR – I want to spend more time with my boyfriend than he does. We see each other 2-3 times a week. We've been together for 5 years. I don't know how to navigate this, given the daily life logistics. He seems happy with things as they are. Moving together is not an option for now.