I (40F) have been with my boyfriend(41M)for 6 years. We live together. He hasn’t proposed, and last year it really bothered me and made me feel overwhelmed that I was so upset and resenting him. I started dating other people; I told him even though he didn’t agree. I slept with two people, one of whom I was with for 7 months. I stopped that a few months ago, but it made me realize that sex with my boyfriend is really, really bad. (I have never told him this, but I guess he might suspect since he realized I slept with others).
I can’t imagine spending the rest of my good years with bad sex. I like what we’ve built, and the thought of leaving is pretty scary and very complicated with a house and everything. He is not open to an open relationship. I don’t know what I should do. I dread having sex with him. I go to therapy Andy other Suggestions?
TL;DR: After 6 years I realized awx with my boyfriend is bad. I don't have the courage to leave, and started to see other people again.