TLDR – I am concerned that my boyfriend’s history with younger women might be an ongoing issue and I don’t know how to bring it up with him or even if I should.
My boyfriend and I have been together for about one year and he has significant issues with jealously which has impacted my mental health and friendships. Note – he has been seeking help for this.
I’ve come across certain information about my boyfriend’s past that makes me worry that he has some kind of tendency towards significantly younger women, particularly around that “barely legal” age. Whenever he has spoken about these situations or I have asked for more information, I feel that I get dismissed.
However, if I happen to mention something that is not even remotely close to those type of situations. Such as, catching up with a previous (male) colleague on a lunch break, that sets off all of my boyfriend’s jealously triggers and he won’t let it go.
There are at least four instances I know of where my boyfriend has directly engaged in NSFW interactions women in the age ranges of 18-20 while he was in his early 30s.
While I understand that 18-20 years old is of legal age, it is still very young compared to my boyfriend and it just makes me wonder if this is something he has a preference towards. It kind of makes me feel gross.
Two of these ladies are still in contact with my boyfriend which has been a bit of a frustration for me as I have felt forced to cut off contact or significantly reduce contact with male friends because of my boyfriend’s jealousy, even where I have no “history” with these people. These two ladies have even had my boyfriend say “I love you” to them. My boyfriend doesn’t know that I know that though.
One of the two ladies is especially naive in my opinion. When in a call with her, I feel like she is constantly trying to seek attention from my boyfriend
Outside of this, when we are out in public, my boyfriend will make comments of a sexualised nature about young women we might see out and about because of what they may be wearing or how they might look in general.
It doesn’t sit right with me I suppose and I don’t know how I should bring it up with my boyfriend, if I even should at all.
How should I bring this up to my boyfriend? Or should I just let it go? I feel like I’m just whining sometimes especially with everything I have already shared with him about how his overall jealousy and possessiveness over me has had an impact on me and our relationship.