What’s something you started doing for yourself that really sped up your healing process after the breakup?
October 11, 2025
What’s something you started doing for yourself that really sped up your healing process after the breakup?
25 comments
It didn’t accelerate it, but it took my mind away from constantly ruminating. I was a full time student working part time. So i just threw myself into those. Picked up more hours at work, stayed at school to study instead of doing it at home etc
It doesn’t have to mean you’re avoiding the pain. It just gives your mind somewhere else to go until you’re ready
Did and still doing therapy tho rn I’m doing therapy once every other week. Progress with my therapist! Feels great!
Talking to friends and coworkers. I am close to one coworker and she’s been helpful by being someone I can share small victories with. I do also tell her if I’m feeling anxious.
Meeting up with family. I care for my family a lot and we have had nice dinners together.
And this one might be evil but doing things the ex can’t do. I did post breakup things by myself! They could never do that. I went out by myself and tried differently things. I even bragged about my outings to my therapist and they were like “heck yea!”
And also gym. Focus on yourself !
Like honestly? Having sex. But also just working on myself and thinking about all the bad times i had with my partner (a lot) and remembering why we aren’t together anymore. Ive been working my ass off to become a better person and part of that has been learning to let go. We honestly take longer to heal because we collectively suck at it. Thinking about the bad times and how those times are over has helped speed up my healing process, I have done my best to forgive her. Those grudges cost way too much energy. (Sorry this was a ramble)
Dancing
I feel like constantly reminding yourself why you broke up in the first place helps.
stop idolizing them. me and my long term boyfriend broke up 3 months ago and i had to take him off the pedestal i had him on. its a hard process but it works.
hanging out with my friends, keeping myself busy, and also not immediately shutting down the attention i got afterwards also helped. obviously don’t rush into anything but getting those extra compliments here and there can easily pull you out of a bad head space because i was originally very upset and thinking things like “no one will ever love me like he did”, etc etc.
doing things i never really did while i was in a relationship was also a freeing change, we were healthy so it’s not like A LOT changed but obviously it’s normal to become a bit more reserved and a homebody while you’re comfortable in a relationship so i put myself out there more and drew more attention to myself.
I really don’t think you can speed it up. Other people avoid their feelings into work or other hobbies but sometimes you just need to cry. For a while I cried multiple times a day. Music has helped me identify my actual feelings. Sometimes I even write notes or have telepathic conversations with them in my head.
Muay Thai 🙂 and then I married my trainer a few years later!
Acknowledge that if you truly loved your ex, then you would want their happiness even if that means not you; or that their happiness is just as important as YOUR happiness.
Then, go do things for yourself that youve always wanted. Get that tattoo. Go see that movie. You get the picture. Do selfish things.
Self love.
Years of not listening to my needs had left me with a huge deficit.
Realised that if I did not put myself first, no one would and I would be drained. This realisation changed everything.
A scuba-diving safari in the Maldives, reminded me who I am.
I used to buy him “just because” gifts, sometimes I’d buy them for when we had a little rough patch (which was alot, not saying I was a saint in the relationship but from my perspective he was very childish and wouldn’t take the blame for when he obviously fucked up)
He was really into lego cars and stuff like that, sometimes I’d buy them for both of us to build but he insisted that I bought them for him and only him. After a while I started getting into building my own little legos myself, so when we broke up I bought all the ones I liked and was interested in building, really helped me cope eith the aftermath bullshit.
Lego aswell as books, when we dated I started reading some romance books, he thought it was stupid and silly, really didn’t like the idea of me giggling into my phone or books, he got jealous of inanimate objects and I copped the shits with him acting the way he did about it, so I stopped my reading bc of him. After the break up i went on a shopping spree and bought like 20 books I’d been dying to read, now I can gladly say I have my own treasure trove of books and legos and it’s helped me and my mental health amazingly.
Going through this now, so idk if im qualified.
Stopped texting him, even to check up (I did slip up a couple of times and it always made me feel worse)
I will focus on doing things eventually, rn im more in the paralysed with despair phase, but I’m trying – watching anime, studying, going on walks, will start learning crocheting.
Going out. I made a profile on a dating app. All my friends are abroad and extremely busy, they give me as much time as possible, but I’m still lonely. I enjoy meeting people and Going out for good food, dressing up.
Crying. Grieving, the past we had, the future we could have and what im missing now. Getting angry, getting jealous, feeling the hurt.
[removed]
Back on my fitness grind. The glow up motivation is something else
Travel and new hobbies
I kept myself busy and applied for another job so I wouldn’t keep thinking about the breakup. It helped a lot. Instead of crying, I focused on working both jobs and making enough money. Then I even went on a vacation once I could take some time off. Honestly, not the best way but it was the best thing I did for myself.
Spending time with people who actually like how loud and silly and childish I am. I have a few friends who actually like that part about me. Ended up falling in love with my friend, actually and I can’t believe I didn’t realize that life could be this fun.
keeping myself busy (focusing on college, new hobbies, exercising, traveling, and hanging out with my friends) and focusing on myself. it eventually gets better so stay strong! ❤️🩹
Running, it tea helped me focus on myself mentally. It allowed me to achieve something
Exercise. That’s been my go to move bc I couldn’t sleep. So I’d get up really early & go for a long power walk or run (and at this point I HATE running), then go to as many dance classes as I could find. Nothing says FU like-I’m getting in great shape. Turns out there are many physiological benefits to fresh air & exercise. I’ve been doing it forever for all kinds of heartbreak & I swear by it.
Reconnecting with my brother. He has been my rock though my break up. I dont know how many of you can relate!
Therapy and exercise
Keeping myself occupied with things I enjoyed again really helped take my mind off things… especially biking. I started commuting to work that way and rode every chance I got since 2020. I also began taking more trips and vacations.
I trained for a 10 mile run. Helped sooooo much.
And I wrote a list of all the things I didn’t like about him, all the times he treated me like shit. I referred to said list often.
25 comments
It didn’t accelerate it, but it took my mind away from constantly ruminating. I was a full time student working part time. So i just threw myself into those. Picked up more hours at work, stayed at school to study instead of doing it at home etc
It doesn’t have to mean you’re avoiding the pain. It just gives your mind somewhere else to go until you’re ready
Did and still doing therapy tho rn I’m doing therapy once every other week. Progress with my therapist! Feels great!
Talking to friends and coworkers. I am close to one coworker and she’s been helpful by being someone I can share small victories with. I do also tell her if I’m feeling anxious.
Meeting up with family. I care for my family a lot and we have had nice dinners together.
And this one might be evil but doing things the ex can’t do. I did post breakup things by myself! They could never do that. I went out by myself and tried differently things. I even bragged about my outings to my therapist and they were like “heck yea!”
And also gym. Focus on yourself !
Like honestly? Having sex. But also just working on myself and thinking about all the bad times i had with my partner (a lot) and remembering why we aren’t together anymore. Ive been working my ass off to become a better person and part of that has been learning to let go. We honestly take longer to heal because we collectively suck at it. Thinking about the bad times and how those times are over has helped speed up my healing process, I have done my best to forgive her. Those grudges cost way too much energy. (Sorry this was a ramble)
Dancing
I feel like constantly reminding yourself why you broke up in the first place helps.
stop idolizing them. me and my long term boyfriend broke up 3 months ago and i had to take him off the pedestal i had him on. its a hard process but it works.
hanging out with my friends, keeping myself busy, and also not immediately shutting down the attention i got afterwards also helped. obviously don’t rush into anything but getting those extra compliments here and there can easily pull you out of a bad head space because i was originally very upset and thinking things like “no one will ever love me like he did”, etc etc.
doing things i never really did while i was in a relationship was also a freeing change, we were healthy so it’s not like A LOT changed but obviously it’s normal to become a bit more reserved and a homebody while you’re comfortable in a relationship so i put myself out there more and drew more attention to myself.
I really don’t think you can speed it up. Other people avoid their feelings into work or other hobbies but sometimes you just need to cry. For a while I cried multiple times a day. Music has helped me identify my actual feelings. Sometimes I even write notes or have telepathic conversations with them in my head.
Muay Thai 🙂 and then I married my trainer a few years later!
Acknowledge that if you truly loved your ex, then you would want their happiness even if that means not you; or that their happiness is just as important as YOUR happiness.
Then, go do things for yourself that youve always wanted. Get that tattoo. Go see that movie. You get the picture. Do selfish things.
Self love.
Years of not listening to my needs had left me with a huge deficit.
Realised that if I did not put myself first, no one would and I would be drained. This realisation changed everything.
A scuba-diving safari in the Maldives, reminded me who I am.
I used to buy him “just because” gifts, sometimes I’d buy them for when we had a little rough patch (which was alot, not saying I was a saint in the relationship but from my perspective he was very childish and wouldn’t take the blame for when he obviously fucked up)
He was really into lego cars and stuff like that, sometimes I’d buy them for both of us to build but he insisted that I bought them for him and only him. After a while I started getting into building my own little legos myself, so when we broke up I bought all the ones I liked and was interested in building, really helped me cope eith the aftermath bullshit.
Lego aswell as books, when we dated I started reading some romance books, he thought it was stupid and silly, really didn’t like the idea of me giggling into my phone or books, he got jealous of inanimate objects and I copped the shits with him acting the way he did about it, so I stopped my reading bc of him. After the break up i went on a shopping spree and bought like 20 books I’d been dying to read, now I can gladly say I have my own treasure trove of books and legos and it’s helped me and my mental health amazingly.
Going through this now, so idk if im qualified.
Stopped texting him, even to check up (I did slip up a couple of times and it always made me feel worse)
I will focus on doing things eventually, rn im more in the paralysed with despair phase, but I’m trying – watching anime, studying, going on walks, will start learning crocheting.
Going out. I made a profile on a dating app. All my friends are abroad and extremely busy, they give me as much time as possible, but I’m still lonely. I enjoy meeting people and Going out for good food, dressing up.
Crying. Grieving, the past we had, the future we could have and what im missing now. Getting angry, getting jealous, feeling the hurt.
[removed]
Back on my fitness grind. The glow up motivation is something else
Travel and new hobbies
I kept myself busy and applied for another job so I wouldn’t keep thinking about the breakup. It helped a lot. Instead of crying, I focused on working both jobs and making enough money. Then I even went on a vacation once I could take some time off. Honestly, not the best way but it was the best thing I did for myself.
Spending time with people who actually like how loud and silly and childish I am. I have a few friends who actually like that part about me. Ended up falling in love with my friend, actually and I can’t believe I didn’t realize that life could be this fun.
keeping myself busy (focusing on college, new hobbies, exercising, traveling, and hanging out with my friends) and focusing on myself. it eventually gets better so stay strong! ❤️🩹
Running, it tea helped me focus on myself mentally. It allowed me to achieve something
Exercise. That’s been my go to move bc I couldn’t sleep. So I’d get up really early & go for a long power walk or run (and at this point I HATE running), then go to as many dance classes as I could find. Nothing says FU like-I’m getting in great shape. Turns out there are many physiological benefits to fresh air & exercise. I’ve been doing it forever for all kinds of heartbreak & I swear by it.
Reconnecting with my brother. He has been my rock though my break up. I dont know how many of you can relate!
Therapy and exercise
Keeping myself occupied with things I enjoyed again really helped take my mind off things… especially biking. I started commuting to work that way and rode every chance I got since 2020. I also began taking more trips and vacations.
I trained for a 10 mile run. Helped sooooo much.
And I wrote a list of all the things I didn’t like about him, all the times he treated me like shit. I referred to said list often.