I (26F) have been with my boyfriend (26M) for 4 years, and lately, I’ve been feeling more and more disconnected. We keep arguing over things that sometimes feel small, but the fights never really get resolved. Every time I try to open up — about how I feel, my past traumas, or even the issues we’ve had in our relationship — I end up feeling like I’m talking to a wall. He either brushes it off, blames me for everything, or tells me that I keep bringing up the past.
I’ve told him so many times what I need emotionally, and he always says he’s changed. But honestly, I don’t feel or see it. It’s like I’m holding on to the idea of who he could be, or who he used to be, instead of who he actually is right now.
Part of me still loves him and doesn’t want to just throw away 4 years, but another part of me is so tired of feeling unheard and invalidated. I don’t know if I’m waiting for something that will never happen.
We’re currently in a long-distance relationship, and lately I’ve been thinking — maybe I’m just not ready for this anymore. Maybe we’ve grown too different, and I’m holding on out of comfort rather than love.
Has anyone else been through this — wanting to leave but being scared that maybe you’re giving up too soon? I just don’t know what to do anymore.
TL;DR: My boyfriend (26M) and I (26F) have been together for 4 years and are currently in a long-distance relationship. I’m thinking about ending things because of our unresolved issues, differences, and because I feel like I’m no longer happy in this relationship.