Myself (25 F) and my boyfriend (33 M) have been together nearly two years. We are both living in a city that neither of us are originally from. my hometown is a two hour drive away and his is a five hour flight.
I want to move back to my hometown as I have some prospective job openings and have also been missing family/ friends. A majority of his friends are from his hometown and live in the city we currently live in as he was the last to move here out of them all.
I asked if he wanted to come with me and we got into an argument about how he doesn’t want to leave his friends but also that he can’t ’abandon his twin brother’ his words not mine. we have never lived together, he has lived with his twin brother for his entire life.
i’m frustrated because at this point in their lives, are they just expecting to live together forever? It just feels extremely co dependent to me. I’m also a very independent person who is an only child (maybe my view is skewed) and think living alone which I currently have been for the last three years is something everyone should experience in their life as I feel you learn a lot about yourself.
This makes the entire relationship feel pointless as a whole because his brother will always come first.
The ideal outcome I want is for him to come with me. However, the comment he made about abandoning his brother leads me to believe that’s going to be a constant concern throughout the relationship which admittedly I don’t want.
So the question remains, do I end my relationship now or try to make it work whether that means he moves with me or we try long distance (which is something I don’t really want to do)
TL;DR
I want to move back to my hometown, my boyfriend is concerned that he’d be ‘abandoning’ his twin brother. Do I end the relationship if he doesn’t come with me?