I met a guy around 4 weeks ago, we had instant very high chemistry and attraction, and we hooked up and got intimate pretty much immediately, the physical closeness of the next couple of weeks made me confuse it with actual emotional closeness – I was blurring both in my mind as I just felt completely enthralled by this new relationship.
I think he wants to take things slower than me, because we had a conflict where I told him to call me if he wants to talk, since the messaging was feeling a bit surface level and not fluid (he takes ages to reply), and he got defensive and took it as a criticism of his efforts so far. I set a boundary saying that I was looking for a real connection with mutual efforts. He took it as me "breaking it off".
We were no contact (he didn't reach out and I didn't reach out to him to give him space) for around 5 days, after which I reached out. (even though the ball was in his court so to speak – to step up and show me he cared – it was sort of in mine as well to show him that I was actually still interested in continuing). I messaged him "Hey, I'm leaving on my trip soon and I just wanted you to know that I really enjoyed the moments we shared. We have a beautiful chemistry that was interrupted by a misunderstanding.. if you ever want to see each other again I'm open to it :)"
He replied a few hours later that he agreed that it was a shame, and that we could try to meet up before my trip – I am going away for 1 month… – so we met in a café, the same one where we met the first time. I jokingly said "this way we can do a reset!" and he found it funny. We had a great 2,5 hours talking, and I thought that he would want to come over after but he surprised me by saying that he was actually tired and going to head home, and that even if he had come over it would have been just to talk.
At first this hurt, since we had been physically close each time we met the last times, but I also felt relief that he must feel something for me if he wanted to meet just to reconnect on a positive note before my trip. He walked me to my car and gave me a big hug, and I asked for a kiss which he gave me several of. He asked me to send him photos and we said "see you soon".
This was 2 days ago, there has been no follow up from him, I don't necessarily expect any contact but I wish to have some. I don't know if I should reach out to him during my trip. And the anxious part of me is thinking "he's so attractive, he's on a dating app, he may not even be single anymore when I return". I want to enjoy my trip and trust in this connection. I really hope that he feels the same way as me but it's impossible to tell, with a connection that is so new. I hope that my time away will intensify our connection, not lessen it. I hear a lot of advice online for women that we should "do nothing" and "never chase a man"..
Anyway I feel conflicted on where we currently stand. I can't tell if he's just trying to keep things casual and light, or if more intentional and slow.