For context, we (24F, 28M) worked together on a creative project (not like a legitimate 9-5 type) and started “talking” about a month and a half into the process. He’s very flirty over text but in person he’s good about staying professional. Over text, he never jumps straight to anything sexual, we kind of ease into it which is nice.
So the texting, the sparks, the everything really ramped up and then suddenly went off a cliff and I found out he had a situationship he was dealing with that he didn’t tell any of the rest of our mutuals (friend group ish) about. I communicated about it and we kind of parted ways but were still amicable. After the project ended, he reached out and apologized saying he for sure ended the situationship and wanted me/ always has but felt slightly guilty (even though she wasn’t really that great to him). We started chatting again more regularly and the sexual tension revved back up (but let’s be real, it never really left). Finally we went to see a movie together but got high first and made out. Oh my gods was that amazing. The first time with everything behind us and the world just stopping.
Anyway we watch the movie and then decide to go back to his place. We smoke a little more and then start making out again. One thing leads to another and we both naked and finalllllyyy experiencing each other in a way we’ve both wanted for a hott minute. It’s going pretty well, hotness of the charts but then something changes and he stops. He didn’t give much detail but said he started having that guilt/uneasy feeling come back about the ex. It was probably also because we were high but everything was fine until that point. He told me to “not feel some type of way” because of it- it’s not my fault he needed to stop (??). But then we put our clothes back on and watched tv and never talked about it.
A little time passed and I told him I wanted to continue doing whatever it is that we’re doing but also said he has to tell me if the vibe switches and he’s not interested/comfortable. He agreed and we continued watching the show. Eventually I go home- he tells me to text him when I get home and I do.
I just like people and continue talking to them especially if we’re friends (we are) and you can def pick up on a vibe between us but neither of us want it too obvious/too out in the open for our friends/mutuals to pick up on.
He’s been a little distant since then and I’m not sure where I stand but this feels like it did the first time so maybe it really is his ex that he’s freaking out about? Did I actually do something that freaked him out?
I want to hang out with him again- in any capacity but also don’t want to overdo it as I have in the past (with other connections).
Is there something I’m not seeing or reading properly? I do think we have a lot of chemistry- not sure if it’s enough to lead into a relationship (not even sure if I want that specifically) but it’s definitely there and he sees it too.
Just pretty words? Is he scared?
(lol can you tell I’m not very well versed in any of this? 🥲) what is the outside perspective without knowing either of us and just this novella of information?
Any help is great 🙂
Edit: I forgot to mention that I don’t have sex very often. I lost my virginity like 4 days before my 23rd birthday and have only had 3 sexual partners before him. He did know about that going in and didn’t seem to mind.