Examples include:

  • A car-dependent culture that does not allow you to easily meet people on your commute
  • A lack of free Third Places, where you can easily meet people
  • A lack of small businesses, such as local bars, where you can easily meet people. Everything is now corporate and is minimum $20-30 per outing if not more.
  • Houses are now too expensive on one salary. So you have to get married before even considering to buy one. And where the cheap houses, there are either (1) no jobs, or (2) the salaries are lower so it is the same ratio to housing affordability.
  • Houses are all single-family and in suburbia. It's hard to meet people in suburbia, see point #1 and #2.

TLDR: College is the only time it's easy to meet people. Why? Because it's a walkable environment, shared by people with similar interests. After this point you enter a soulless corporate environment of suburbia. No wonder it's difficult!


7 comments

  1. I’ve been single all 34 years of my life and this hasn’t been an issue. But I don’t have a car

  2. 100% agree with all of this. It’s really sad when you think about how it doesn’t have to be this way, and how consumerism, capitalism, and over valuing individual “freedom” over everything creates such a depressing society.

  3. This is why, at 37, I moved to New York. No cars needed, lots of third places, and a shit-ton of gorgeous, intelligent, accomplished women.

  4. Suburban life is like this.

    Living in Chicago, New York, Washington DC, Boston, parts of San Francisco, LA, etc., have walkable neighborhoods, good transit, and community hubs (whether bars or community centers).

    I hear you that outside of the urban places it’s like living in a cocoon. I hated it.

  5. 33M here. All my friends are happily in relationships they found naturally through school/work. One in particular is just a conventionally attractive white guy and effortlessly gets tons of matches on the dating apps.

    But for me, I am told to do a,b,and c, and that I have to move heaven and earth to try and get a girl to talk to me. And when nothing works and they see me visibly defeated, i am apparently not trying hard enough and my misery is my own fault. Sometimes they compare me to our conventionally attractive white guy friend (saying that if he can do it, I should be able to, too)

    I have concluded that I should just go fuck myself

  6. > A lack of small businesses, such as local bars, where you can easily meet people. Everything is now corporate and is minimum $20-30 per outing if not more.

    Where do you live that you think this is true? There’s plenty of local independent owned bars in rural and urban areas. You aren’t stuck going to Buffalo Wild Wings. Granted, it still can cost going out, but I know when I go out it is my own fault because I’m eating and drinking.

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