Tl;dr: Couple months ago my husband’s cousin, which I’m not really a close friend of, asked me to get her some stuff on my Amazon account for her birthday because she didn’t have prime. Before I was on my husband’s account, I was using my friends and never once had a problem with that, so I told her to login to my account and put her card on it. Her first purchase didn’t go through, the next day she tried again and she “accidentally” sent it to my house. My husband asked me about it and I told him she asked me and he was wondering why she didn’t ask him (he’s a terrible texter, so I assumed that was the reason). She made a couple more purchases and that was it. Couple weeks later I get a message from Amazon telling me my account is under review for fraudulent activity. I text her about it and she tells me her bank accounts are messed up because she had recently been on an international trip. I told her to login again and put a different card and make the payment. Later that week I got another email from Amazon telling me my account was locked temporarily because the card holder had disputed the transaction. When i texted her again, she suggested me to make another account and that Amazon wouldn’t send me to collections. I told her it’s crazy she’d suggest that and that I wouldn’t lose my account, that once Amazon rules on it, she’d have to Zelle me the money. She never replied. This week I contacted Amazon and then texted her again, and once again, no reply. Initially, when I told my husband about it, he told me that was fucked and that he was in disbelief, but nothing more than that. Another time I brought it up again and said “I wish someone would tell her bf she has cheated, because that’s what she deserves” and he looked at me in a judgmental way and didn’t say anything at all. After that I brought it up how I felt judged and unsupported when it came to that and he told me that wishing evil on people is bad and that “I’d be destroying her relationship” he said he does feel anger and that he’s in disbelief, that what she did is fucked up and she’s shady, and that he should’ve been more vocal about how he felt to me. After that, I brought up this subject again when I contacted Amazon because he told me to let him know so he’d help me text her. I brought it up again and he was suggesting me to tell her something like “hey, Zelle me so I can unlock my account and you can later you deal with your bank” I told him I didn’t want to text that, that I already did and she ghosted me, that I wanted to be more assertive, that I didn’t want to leave any room for her to give me excuses like “no, I don’t want to have to deal with my bank later” or anything related. He got quiet and later said that I need to control my anger, that I need to bring that up in therapy to deal with it, that I need to be more stoic and emotionally mature, that my anger ruined the mood. I told him I was not overreacting, that I wasn’t cussing her, that I wasn’t acting on it, that I wasn’t disrespecting anyone. I told him he needs to work on his own emotions, so he doesn’t feel uncomfortable with strong emotions. Later I brought it up again, telling him I felt judged, he deflected by saying I always bring stuff up at “inappropriate times” he asked me to acknowledge it and I told him I’d reflect on it, he said that was a “win” because I never acknowledge my mistakes. I told him how I felt unsupported throughout the whole thing, that I felt judged and shamed, that he could’ve said “baby, let’s talk about this after dinner, I see how this is a difficult topic for you” instead. He apologized, acknowledged it and understood it. And then brought up the fact that he felt strongly about my “me or someone should tell her bf she’s cheated on him” comment, because in his pov, that’s a sin. He started by saying “I’m human, I’m flawed, I’ve done that” and I got defensive, because again, I felt morally shamed. I told him that was extremely hypocritical and he accused me of deflecting. He said I can never acknowledge my part. He also said that we might have a difference in values because I don’t even see it as wrong, and it’s a sin, that when he does it, he repents and feel ashamed, because he knows it’s wrong, so he’s not being hypocritical, but I’m being defensive lol. I had told him before that I did I said that in a moment of anger, that I’d never do it and that I was venting, I just didn’t say “yes, you’re right, I’m wrong, this is a sin” but I did acknowledge, just not the way he wanted and pressured me to. I feel like the focus was about how my anger was morally wrong, and not about what she’s done to me, which made me so much more angry and all of this is rubbing me the wrong way, because at the end I’m the one being put on trial for reacting to being done wrong, while he sits in his uncomfortable avoidance