Please give me ideas – I (39F) have repeatedly asked my husband (37M) for a divorce. We have two kids and one on the way.
He refuses when I ask for divorce. This has occurred several times over the past 5 years. But in the same breath of saying he won’t divorce me, he tells me how he’s unhappy and I’m toxic. I’m skipping most details, let me know if you want them. Tonight I told him I’m “toxic” because he is not a good fit for me and I don’t see him as a friend, and I think we’re an unhealthy example of a relationship for the kids. He just repeated that I’m the problem. I repeated that I want divorce. He said no each time, then brought up my guy friends and twisted stories that I try for more with them. I called out his lies. He refused to acknowledge me and I again said let’s divorce. He said this is why I’m The problem and refused.
This is the same guy who gets mad I don’t kiss him- he demands a kiss (I refuse French at this point so it’s just a peck) and I’ve told him it’s fake and feels like a lie that he tells himself everything is alright with me since I still kiss him, but I know it’s not and I hate all physical touch with him. He’s aware.
I own the house and completely own one vehicle. He refuses to leave. I think I shouldn’t have to. I make more money than him and recently read I could just go to a lawyer and start the divorce process. So I guess I’m afraid of the lies he spins? He takes truths and twists them, like abusing me of beating my guy friend every day, which I never did. That’s one example of many.
He is definitely insecure, but I don’t want to be his mom and I don’t even feel friendship love for him and I do most tasks inside and outside the house, so why am I letting him manipulate me into staying just because he twists truths? I hate this. I don’t want my life to stay like this. I worry for our oldest (3.5) who clearly knows when we fight.