This will be long. I've long wanted to ask this in this subreddit but until now I gather the balls to do it. This might be a little bit of a mess scripture but I've got a lot in my chest but I'll try to make it make sense. I love sex and feet, she doesn't.
I (mid twenties M) have been dating my (also mid twenties F) girlfriend for a considerably long time. I hid my foot fetish from her at the beginning since I was scared about her initial reaction. We had sex, she lost her virginity with me, I had already had a few sexual partners before. It took me a few months to open up about my fetish, and if anything her reaction was "why didn't you tell me before?". Anyhow, it wasnt until basically a year and a half after that that she let me play with her feet sexually. As time has gone by it seems like she has started to feel like I only look at her feet. Plus she's disgusted by feet in itself and has struggled to remove this from her mind, saying that guy's that would text when she was younger traumatized her by being so icky about feet, so she can't help but imagine me like them. I have told her that that is absolutely not the case, and I've even made it my mission to show all of her body love when we're doing anything. We came up with the solution that I won't initiate anything related to feet unless she does so nothing that she doesn't want happens. The only condition was that she had to promise me she was open to this and she was not leading me on, because this was something that I NEED or else I'll resent our sex life and her. The issue is, its been 7 months and that moment is still waiting. I've told her also that this is killing me but she says the more I mention it the more her will to do it regresses. I'm not sure how to even proceed here.
Second issue is: It's been a chaotic few years but life has dropped her libido during this time (university, moving cities, long distance during half of the relationship, birth control to control her acne). At first it's not like we had crazy sex everywhere or anything, but there was a will to have sex. Now if I'm lucky we're having something every two weeks. I have a pretty high and even cumbersome libido, she has a very very low libido nowadays. I am massively into pleasuring so constantly ask her if there's anything she wants and I'll do it, but she just doesn't need it. She has previously said that she doesn't need sex as much as I do so it's not a problem, but it makes the whole thing feel one sided. She'll basically schedule sex with like a whole day in advance. She does cum when we have sex with the help of our vibrator, and she does enjoy giving blowjobs, but most of the time she makes it feel like it a chore to get over with as quick as possible. Is it how it will always be or is it the circumstances that make her libido so low?
The relationship is great and our communication too. I'm just wondering what I could possibly do to help the situation.
Note: she's a very anxious person so very little things happening will just monkey wrench her brain into backing out. We are working half time jobs and are still being economically helped by our parents, so it's not necessarily a stress and overworking issue. We have very deep talks about these issues often and our communication is good, it is a very good relationship, I just don't know how else to work on these issues.