I have been dating a girl for about a month now who works in sex work. She’s very open-minded and seems really understanding about different fantasies and kinks.
The only thing that’s making me hesitate is that she often hints at being very submissive and wanting a manly, dominant partner who takes control in the bedroom. I’m actually more of a switch, but I definitely lean submissive — a lot of my pleasure comes from making my partner happy and giving up control sometimes.
Outside of sex, I’m confident, masculine, and in charge in almost every part of life, but sexually I like being able to let go. I’m worried that could make us incompatible if she strongly prefers to be the one who submits.
I care about her and really want to be open about who I am, but I don’t want to scare her off either. I haven’t told her about any of my kinks or preferences yet but we plan on having that conversation over drinks soon. Has anyone else navigated this kind of mismatch in power dynamics or sexual roles? Can it work long-term if both people are switches in different ways?
Would love any honest perspectives from people who’ve been there — especially those who’ve had to talk through kink or D/s compatibility early in a relationship.