Hi everyone,
I'm a 28-year-old female, and my husband is also 28 years old. We just celebrated our first wedding anniversary, and I am so in love with him. He is literally my dream man. He works at sea as a second officer, working his way up to become a captain. He chose this line of work before we met because he wanted to provide a good life for his future family, which is now us.
He works incredibly hard, and I couldn't be prouder of him, but it does come with its challenges. I knew about his job before we started dating, and I was okay with it, and I still am. Recently, I've been talking to him about being more intimate with me over text and phone, but he often says he is too tired to engage in that way. He does ask me for pictures, but when I send them, I usually get a very basic, generic response—just one line—before we move back to normal conversation. When I bring up intimacy, it can lead to frustration because he says he is trying, but it feels insufficient at times.
I don’t think he’s cheating or anything like that; I trust him completely, and there haven't been any signs to suggest otherwise. He is also quite insecure about his weight, as he has gained some since COVID-19. We've had some intimacy issues when he's home, and he has opened up about feeling this way, which he believes affects our intimate moments together.
We do have sex frequently when he is home, but it tends to be relatively quick. While I'm not too bothered by this because I understand the pressures he faces, I do want to communicate openly. He is quite emotional and often takes conversations personally, especially regarding intimacy.
I’m sharing this not because I dislike being married to him—it's quite the opposite; I love him with all my heart. I try my best to be patient, but I do get frustrated sometimes, especially when I’m trying to communicate and he reacts defensively. I would appreciate any advice on how to address these issues or resources I can explore to ensure he feels heard. I want to keep our marriage strong and avoid any feelings of resentment on either side.