Hey r/sex, need some advice from Scotland.
I’ve (22M) been with my girlfriend (20F) for 6 months. I really care about her, but our sex life is making me feel insecure and unwanted.
I love going down on her and do it often, but the only thing I get in return are quick, unenthusiastic handjobs. We tried to have sex once but it didn't work out and we haven't tried since.
What confuses me is that around friends, she's always making playful jokes about sex and blowjobs. But when we're alone and intimate, she never initiates anything for me.
I know the answer is to talk to her, but I'm really anxious. I don't want to sound like I'm accusing her or making her feel pressured. Also I fear that after the talk everything that follows will feel forced…
So my questions are:
- What's the best way and time to bring this up?
- How can I phrase it to focus on "us" and our connection? I don‘t want it to sound like a list of complaints.
- Any tips for mustering the courage to start this conversation?
Thanks in advance for any help.